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Pam,

How did your aunt get around when you took her to the casino? Was it a big casino? Did you get a wheelchair for her to use? Did your mom go with y’all?
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pamzimmrrt Nov 2023
My Mom was the driving force.. LOL She used her rollator, and it never slowed her down. She was actually OK with her sporty red rollator. My Aunt was/still is in much better shape and just wandered around with mom. She would gamble at the same machines/area as Mom to keep an eye on her if we wandered off. Aunt is now 90 and still volunteers at her church! Hope I hold as well as she is!
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I have been going to a balance and exercise class at the senior center since I retired. I can;t believe how unsteady I feel these days! I always use handrails and take my phone when I got ourside to walk the dog,, we live in the country and I am afraid I will fall! I am 65,, never expected this! I also have to triangulate to get up off the floor, but hey at least I still can!
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2023
When I was younger I always thought that it was funny that my grandmother stopped using escalators in stores.

Grandma insisted that we would go to the higher levels of a store in the elevator. As she grew older she still walked well, no cane or walker but she felt unsteady riding on an escalator.

I think grandma started having difficulty getting on and off an escalator. So, she preferred going upstairs in an elevator.

She couldn’t walk for long distances though. We would get a wheelchair for her when we took her to the zoo.

One thing that I adored about my grandmother was that she was never embarrassed to be seen in a wheelchair. She was always ready to go out when I asked her to join us on an outing.

My mom was self conscious about using a walker. I had to encourage her to get out more.

I find myself using handrails on the escalator and all other stairs. I’m way more careful about the shoes I wear when I’m running around these days. I think Skechers are comfy!

Years ago I could go anywhere in heels and never worry about stumbling or falling.
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Tried to answer your question @Bounce, but not permitted to reply to your question in the thread.
By "clean foods", I mean no processed foods, sugars, or dairy, and I watch my proteins. Lost loads of weight and the inflammation stopped completely. Lots of pain before that. All gone now.
Hope that helps.
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Still working 2 jobs! RN/ Professor of Nursing! I worked over 30 years in critical care areas and just joined the Medicare group!
I was always active in younger years and still can touch my toes to my head! I do have to watch where I am going and make myself slow down to prevent injury. I take care of my skin, with a little help from my Dermatologist, keep those lines in check. I do this for ME!
I like who I am and where I am. I would not want to be back in my 30's or 40's. I read every day and love music.
I am grateful to be living this long. Both my parents died young.
DH is ten years older, still in great shape physically but some slowing mentally and why I am on this site. I hope we can remain together in our home and not have anyone tell us that we have to go to a care facility!
My advice, live your life to your fullest! Look at the positive in everything! Be realistic and plan for the unexpected, get your documents in order! Life happens, deal with it until it doesn't!
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I was hoping to not feel my age until after all our parents were gone . My in laws are still around and definitely feeling it in my knees , which I didn’t have while taking care of my parents .
It would be nice to not go from caregiving straight to feeling old .
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The way people start treating you as if you’re stupid and invisible. Talk over the top if you and interrupt talking to you like you’re a half wit. Dismiss you
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MattyWelch Nov 2023
This is why I’ve acquired a superior/dismissive attitude the moment someone starts to be patronizing. I’m going to be a b*tch, I can feel it. As soon as all those blasted Medicare ads started coming at me I knew I was approaching a whole new world. A month before I turned 65 I suddenly started having knee trouble. WTH!? Hard time going down stairs. Went on statins for cholesterol. Couldn’t see anything without glasses. And the train just keeps rolling..
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For me it's the surprising fact that clean food has made a difference. I had a very bad bout of inflammation that caused and infection, which ended up mimicking several conditions. After a year of torture, I eat only clean foods now and I have regained all of my energy back, lost loads of weight, inflammation has disappeared, and am now at my optimum.
It has totally surprised me how my whole body, mind, and daily living has changed just over eating clean.
As far as standing back up from a squatting position, I can do it but need to turn over and triangle with all fours and then push up with one hand on a piece of furniture. I take steps well and walk alot in the woods. After about an hour of walking, I admittingly don't mind sitting down for a bit. I'm in my sixties.
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I think the other thing I would add is that, before my caregiving years, I felt invincible. Early 60’s but energetic, positive etc. Watching my mom’s decline has given me the impression that my strong years are behind me. It has really impaired my ability to stay positive about what is ahead. I certainly have had to put my big girl pants on and push myself to embrace life again.
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How I was able to evolve from the goody two-shoes people-pleaser my mother created to a stronger more grounded person who now can say.
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What I hate….when the Walgreens clerk reminds me it is senior day!
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MattyWelch Nov 2023
🤣
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Living as long as we have!!! Who knew? We prepared as best we could but never thought we'd reach 94 (spouse, today) and 87 (me in January).
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The constant, never-ending arthritic pain 24/7. The fact my mind has remained alert while my husband has Alzheimer's and I'm his care giver. Never bargained for any of this. The anger and depression caring for him. I know it's the disease, but I can't separate him from the disease. Little help, no hope.
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Katybr Nov 2023
I feel for you DrosieD. I, too, have become a full time caregiver for my husband who has Frontal Temporal Dementia at 75. It’s the worst - can turn into ALS without warning. I just had a 70th birthday and am in great health, but, I’m losing myself in this caregiver stuff. With this disease they rarely talk (Aphasia) and have no emotional responses to anything. Angry? You bet! I had a great job and wonderful social life, but, it’s all but gone.
‘This started 6-7 years ago so I was in early 60’s and really having a nice life.
No hope - of course. He has about 2-3 years left. And help? Nope. Soooo expensive and adult sons all live on West Coast (I’m on East Coast). I’ve looked into skilled nursing for next year as this might get ugly - $15,000/month!! And people don’t understand the anger/depression/anxiety.
Oh! And did I mention his mother is 100? She’s in a retirement home living her best life and driving me nuts with requests. My doctor told me to learn the word “NO” - husband is 1st priority!
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I didn’t count on doing so much caregiving for so long .
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The fact that I like myself more now. I'd love to have my young body and face back but I wouldn't want my young brain. I used to worry so much about what people thought of me. Now I don't give a blank. :)

Something I heard once:

When you are in your twenties and thirties you worry what people think of you.
When you are in your forties you don't give a sh*t what people think of you.
When you are in your fifties and beyond you realize nobody was thinking about you at all.

Also, if you think someone is giving you a dirty look they're probably just constipated.
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2023
Or burped sour!
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1) When I was young I could eat anything and would still stay skinny as a board. I literally could not gain weight. Then I crossed age 29 and that all went bye bye. Now I probably eat healthier now than I did then, but I will still always be perpetually overweight.

2) The fact that all of the rock bands and TV shows that I loved as a teenager are now classic rock and retro TV. And that all of those musicians and actors that were so young and hip are now either dead or senior citizens themselves.
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pamzimmrrt Oct 2023
Oh yes about the music! when did I become the only one in the carpool listening to "classic vinal" or 80s rock? And I still sing it loud and proud in the car.. LOL
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I'm suprised that my body is 70 and my mind is age 32.
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Anabanana Oct 2023
I hope your sense of humour is still 12. 😉
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Skin tags. Gross!
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2023
Thuja essential oil, 3x daily will remove them in days. Amazing stuff!
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I'm going to be 60 soon. I never used to be in the "boomer Generation" till recently. My birth year is now the last generation of boomers and first year Gen X. A few years ago I saw a new PA for my physical. In the blood work list was a new huge list of tests for things like Hep C because "boomers" tended to not know they had been exposed to it. I questioned the PA about it and the response was "ohhh you might have gotten during the late 60's when IV drug use was common since you are a boomer". So I asked her if they looked at my birth year. "no". After some explanation it took them some math to figure out that I was still a child in the late 60's. Needless to say my Hep C test came back clean.
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Midkid58 Apr 2023
HCV was not uncommon amoung 'boomers' and it is due to a lot of reasons. Yes, it was the first real era of sharing dirty drug needles, a revolution of types against the morality of the day and also, people being drafted and getting the Hep C virus through our govt's incautious and unknowing spread of the disease though mass inoculations.

Hep C lays dormant for decades, as long as you don't drink alcohol. Alcohol is like throwing flame on a fire.

My DH had a liver transplant 16+ years ago due to liver cancer caused by HCV and the golden question that we'll never have answered is "Where did he GET it?" The men who served in basic training at a specific Fort have sky high HCV #s. Can we prove it? No, but it's damning to see a much higher level of HCV among these particular soldiers.

SUPPOSEDLY HCV is considered an STD---but not really. I have 5 kids with my hubby, so living as intimately as possible with someone. I used his razor, I used his toothbrush--all the normal things of a marital relationship.

Neither I nor any of our kids have it. I never worried that we did b/c there was never a time when we were sick enough to have warranted the worry-and also they did not screen for it until about 20 yrs ago.

Glad you're free from this virus. DH did a chemo TX for 84 weeks after the transplant. Then he relapsed, but by then there were real and total cures for this disease.
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You look in the mirror? 😱
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That old lady looking back at me in the mirror; how did that happen?
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Beatty Oct 2023
Smear some vasoline on the mirror, take off the glasses & wahla! Movie Star soft focus!
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the long, slow deterioration of one's body - which many correctly note begins with menopause with women and the withdrawal of estrogen, that miracle drug - and COVID was detrimental in that it restricted a lot of normal activity
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Just read a few responses. Golden's is what I am responding to. Cancer, anyone I know who has dealt with cancer says they just never get their full strength back. My Mom had a hysterectomy in her mid 40s and said the same thing. As did other women I know who had the same procedure. Maybe its because the ovaries are removed to. Estrogen gives us that energy. Really after menopause you lose that energy, I think. When I think of what I did in my 30s. My husband worked nights and I worked days. Ran my daughter all over after work. Kept a 1700 sq ft house clean...now I think "got to clean that bathroom. Still sitting here thinking, really should get to that bathroom. And when I do clean its one room a day. I am 73. I maintain, but have not done any "get down there and scrub work" one reason, I would need to days to pamper my back.

SO GLAD I do not have to care or worry about someone at this stage of my life. Yes, I have my 33yr old nephew, but he is competent to make his own decisions so nothing I can do there. But would like some of that "get up and go" I used to have.
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golden23 Feb 2023
I'm confused, Joann. I haven't had cancer. Maybe I am misunderstanding. It seemed like you were connecting me to it .My daughter has had cancer and is working hard to get her energy back.

But certainly my energy is going down hill with age. At 85 I do jobs in bits - a bit here and a bit there. Once in a while I am able to do more.
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I think I now understand the say, Getting old isn't for sissies.
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Losing my will to live kind of snuck up on me, and I'm only 62 and in good health. Have a nice day.
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golden23 Feb 2023
Could this be a caregiver burnout thing? Perhaps you need a break. Do you need to call the 988 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline?
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Now I am surprised at how many foods that I use to enjoy now taste meh.

We always had pizza for Sundays, but the pizza now taste like the box it comes in.... [sigh].

Now I understand why my parents had so many sweet items on their grocery list !!
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Pain in hips and shoulders.
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Sorry about your thumb ff.

Helloall - join the crowd. Seniors looking after senior seniors is becoming more and more common. It doesn't work well for us.

I think I am surprised at 85 that it isn't worse . Not that there aren't some problems I could do without, but life is reasonably manageable. So far I have managed to not get the big ones - cardiovascular disease, diabetes type 2 and cancer. My lab tests are normal. I haven't needed any surgery and I haven't broken anything. I feel good about all that. Counting my blessings each day that I am OK.
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Oh good grief, now my right thumb is aching [primary hand].... my Mom had arthritic hands, so maybe this could be the start of it.

I can't believe how many times the thumb gets a workout. Writing isn't easy, there goes my draftman's type of printing. unless I use pain cream on my thumb area.

And forget the cellphone. It was hard enough to pick up without hitting the Alert button, and now almost impossible. Forget texting on it, the thumb gets very grumpy.

I can do email with ease, but the younger generation rarely uses it. If one doesn't text or use the social media they are on, you don't hear from them.... [sigh].
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I never dreamed being 65 meant being the caregiver to my soon to be 90 year old dad. I thought that was the age to enjoy retirement. This is so much harder than an 8 hour a day job. I haven't had a day off in 9 months.
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Oh, Yeah, I forgot the lines and bags under my eyes that increased after age 60 7 years ago. I use lotion and creams on my skin every night to keep smooth skin, but it does not turn back the clock. However, I still get some complements that I look good! Take what happens with wisdom.
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