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I think the other thing I would add is that, before my caregiving years, I felt invincible. Early 60’s but energetic, positive etc. Watching my mom’s decline has given me the impression that my strong years are behind me. It has really impaired my ability to stay positive about what is ahead. I certainly have had to put my big girl pants on and push myself to embrace life again.
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For me it's the surprising fact that clean food has made a difference. I had a very bad bout of inflammation that caused and infection, which ended up mimicking several conditions. After a year of torture, I eat only clean foods now and I have regained all of my energy back, lost loads of weight, inflammation has disappeared, and am now at my optimum.
It has totally surprised me how my whole body, mind, and daily living has changed just over eating clean.
As far as standing back up from a squatting position, I can do it but need to turn over and triangle with all fours and then push up with one hand on a piece of furniture. I take steps well and walk alot in the woods. After about an hour of walking, I admittingly don't mind sitting down for a bit. I'm in my sixties.
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The way people start treating you as if you’re stupid and invisible. Talk over the top if you and interrupt talking to you like you’re a half wit. Dismiss you
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MattyWelch Nov 2023
This is why I’ve acquired a superior/dismissive attitude the moment someone starts to be patronizing. I’m going to be a b*tch, I can feel it. As soon as all those blasted Medicare ads started coming at me I knew I was approaching a whole new world. A month before I turned 65 I suddenly started having knee trouble. WTH!? Hard time going down stairs. Went on statins for cholesterol. Couldn’t see anything without glasses. And the train just keeps rolling..
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I was hoping to not feel my age until after all our parents were gone . My in laws are still around and definitely feeling it in my knees , which I didn’t have while taking care of my parents .
It would be nice to not go from caregiving straight to feeling old .
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Still working 2 jobs! RN/ Professor of Nursing! I worked over 30 years in critical care areas and just joined the Medicare group!
I was always active in younger years and still can touch my toes to my head! I do have to watch where I am going and make myself slow down to prevent injury. I take care of my skin, with a little help from my Dermatologist, keep those lines in check. I do this for ME!
I like who I am and where I am. I would not want to be back in my 30's or 40's. I read every day and love music.
I am grateful to be living this long. Both my parents died young.
DH is ten years older, still in great shape physically but some slowing mentally and why I am on this site. I hope we can remain together in our home and not have anyone tell us that we have to go to a care facility!
My advice, live your life to your fullest! Look at the positive in everything! Be realistic and plan for the unexpected, get your documents in order! Life happens, deal with it until it doesn't!
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Tried to answer your question @Bounce, but not permitted to reply to your question in the thread.
By "clean foods", I mean no processed foods, sugars, or dairy, and I watch my proteins. Lost loads of weight and the inflammation stopped completely. Lots of pain before that. All gone now.
Hope that helps.
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I have been going to a balance and exercise class at the senior center since I retired. I can;t believe how unsteady I feel these days! I always use handrails and take my phone when I got ourside to walk the dog,, we live in the country and I am afraid I will fall! I am 65,, never expected this! I also have to triangulate to get up off the floor, but hey at least I still can!
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2023
When I was younger I always thought that it was funny that my grandmother stopped using escalators in stores.

Grandma insisted that we would go to the higher levels of a store in the elevator. As she grew older she still walked well, no cane or walker but she felt unsteady riding on an escalator.

I think grandma started having difficulty getting on and off an escalator. So, she preferred going upstairs in an elevator.

She couldn’t walk for long distances though. We would get a wheelchair for her when we took her to the zoo.

One thing that I adored about my grandmother was that she was never embarrassed to be seen in a wheelchair. She was always ready to go out when I asked her to join us on an outing.

My mom was self conscious about using a walker. I had to encourage her to get out more.

I find myself using handrails on the escalator and all other stairs. I’m way more careful about the shoes I wear when I’m running around these days. I think Skechers are comfy!

Years ago I could go anywhere in heels and never worry about stumbling or falling.
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Pam,

How did your aunt get around when you took her to the casino? Was it a big casino? Did you get a wheelchair for her to use? Did your mom go with y’all?
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pamzimmrrt Nov 2023
My Mom was the driving force.. LOL She used her rollator, and it never slowed her down. She was actually OK with her sporty red rollator. My Aunt was/still is in much better shape and just wandered around with mom. She would gamble at the same machines/area as Mom to keep an eye on her if we wandered off. Aunt is now 90 and still volunteers at her church! Hope I hold as well as she is!
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I totally relate to trouble getting up from low places. People use to comment how they wished they could get down low like I did but knew they could never get back up again. It seemed like out of the blue, one day I found myself really struggling to get up from the floor. That is when I had to admit my body was aging.

What was frustrating was knowing my husband (with Parkinson’s 35 years) could get himself up from the floor if I was able to help him to his knees. He had been going to PT so I spoke to his therapist about it and he agreed my husband’s legs were strong from the leg exercises they had been doing for several years. Yes he still falls at times, but because of PT they have decreased. I got a referral from our geriatrician for PT for me and I have already seen an improvement. So now, we go together.

I highly recommend trying PT when possible for LOs and caregivers, for falls or concerns of getting up from low places. If you do, I recommend trying to find a smaller clinic. I recently learned that most hospital therapy programs will only do a limited number of visits no matter what because the demand on their services. A test case was won in 2013 that allows PT for ongoing maintenance for certain conditions.

https://www.cms.gov/center/special-topic/jimmo-settlement/faqs
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2023
My mom had Parkinson’s disease and mobility issues worsened for her in her later stages of the disease.

I ended up buying her a lift chair.
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At 83, I am the primary caregiver for my 100 year old husband, I am physically TIRED all the time and look forward to an afternoon nap most days. I keep forgetting that Im 83 and plan my days with much more activity than I have the ability to do without getting very tired. But probably the biggest problem I am having is that I have much more anxiety than is comfortable. I have always lived my life as an adventurous, free spirit. Now my anxiety makes me question everything I do in advance. That is a big change and makes me feel old. I live in a suburb within an hour of New York City, and on a whim would just take the train in to do something. Once a friend told me she was going to a museum and I decided on the spur of the moment to go with her, rushed home, changed my clothes and met her at the train on time to go. The day before yesterday, I met my cousin in the city for lunch. I checked the train schedule about 3 times to make sure I'd get there in time. I felt so anxious and out of breath walking to the station that I asked a woman I passed on the street and didnt know for a lift. (I was about 2 blocks away). I had a problem figuring out how to purchase the ticket from the machine as it was a new system. After all this, my train was cancelled, and I had to call my cousin to change the time. I was totally unrelaxed!!! I wound up sleeping on the train. On arrival, walking through the train station, which has been recently renovated was confusing and irritating, as was walking in the streets from the station to the restaurant because every street was undergoing construction. The noise and chaos made me feel anxious. Luckily, I had a lovely lunch with my cousin who perceives me to be in miraculous shape. Ha! On the way back, I felt the same anxiety. Then the escalator to the track was going at such a fast pace that I was afraid to get on. I decided if I made one false misstep I could see myself falling to the bottom, and at that point no one else was getting on. There was no elevator around, so I walked down what turned out to be 28 steps to get to the track. I have decided it is not worth it for me to make these trips, and will do more things locally. But as a person who in the past traveled everywhere in the world, and often on her own as my husband was not a passionate traveler, I have to accept the fact that I am feeling vulnerable and very anxious, and am no longer the free spirit I was. I know I am anxious, drained and tired from caregiving, but also I have to admit my age is probably the main contributor. I really feel OLD!!!!
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2023
Wow!

It sounds like you are staying active though, which is a good thing!

It is fabulous to have good public transportation. Subways and trains are easier than driving everywhere!

Naps are nice in the afternoon.
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I was surprised that I turned invisible. Waiting in line and having the cashier talk over you to help someone behind you. Ignored/talked over in a group conversation. Assumptions made you are not competent to make decisions.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 7, 2024
I called out a doctor who did this to my mom. I told him to speak directly to my mother instead of me.

Mom thanked me on the drive home and said that she often felt invisible when people bypassed her.

I am sorry that a cashier treated you like you were invisible.
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Employees in doctors’ offices, stores, and other places assuming that I don’t know how to use a computer. I bought my first computer in 1981 and taught myself how to use it. Computers have been a big part of my working life since then. I’ve used several versions of PC, various Macs, laptops, desktops, tablets and e-readers. Yet I still get the eye roll from snippy young know-it-alls who weren’t even born when I set up my very first computer (all by myself with no technical support).
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golden23 Feb 8, 2024
Fawnby - I so agree. I taught myself too, I have set up many computers - so much easier these days than it was then. I developed and taught distance courses using computers, I was assigned to teach a computer course at the the college where I worked on the basis of the way I used computers in my other courses. It turned out to be great fun. Then you get the "old person's treatment"... Hah! Mother taught herself to use a computer age 94 with a little distance help from my dd and me. She wore out the keys on her first laptop!

But I do make more typos these days between my eyes and my fingers. I need to proof read more!
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Speaking of squats as the OP did - I was surprised that I could learn to do squats on my 80s and am still doing them at 86, I don't do many but I try to do a few each day, as I do other exercises.

Just because you are older it doesn't mean you can't learn something new.
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After 18-months of Covid, I wanted to get out of the hell hospital I was placed in. I was walking with a cane before the illness and it is still a part of my everyday living. But, after all the physical therapy, I thought I would or could get physically stronger but it hasn't happened yet.
Also, most people assume that seniors can't ask for what they want and they need to be coddled. There's a big difference between helping and trying to take over a senior's life.
All seniors do not need caretakers. If I become physically unable to take care of myself, then I'll get a caretaker.
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cover9339 Apr 25, 2024
Well said!!
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I can't believe how quickly "getting older " happens. Not that it's a normal part of aging, but for me, first it's Kidney issues and now some kind of flu-like illness that happens almost once a week or so.
At the same time I am taking care of my husband who has been diagnosed with Parkinsons disease and after reading these posts, he seems to have been diagnosed as a person with this disease quite advanced. He had no symptoms that I noticed, then he was diagnosed and he quickly went downhill.
I guess that is a "novel " of an answer but I got carried away..
By the way, I found that one good thing about getting older is that you can do stupid stuff and blame it on your age. Carol Marie
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As a younger person, I was quite extroverted. I loved to be around people. In my career, I always applied for offices in schools, hospitals, etc. As I have grown older, I find that I am becoming an introvert. Where I never wanted to stay home, I now love to be at home and rarely go out anywhere.
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KaciNC Sep 2, 2024
Same with my hubby and I.
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I think the rather sudden change in body - always slim and suddenly it became an issue to lose weight and the impact on my self esteem. It takes work and monitoring bad habits - that cup of tea with biscuits - the sweet things. Also running for a bus found i was running but my body actually kind of wasnt - well - not with my mind anyway. Again - look at the stars. Those that look great actually take time to eat healthy and daily exercise. It can be reversed - just takes a bit longer so if anyone does have image and general aches and old age pains a little daily stretch - little thought into eating a bit more veg and maybe plant protein and before you know if you;ll be back to more or less your old self...or at least feel a bit better :-)
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Mine was how quickly things can change. How vulnerable our bodies are to something going wrong. I went to bed fine on Sunday March 3 this year, and woke unable to balance on Monday morning March 4. It still hasn’t come right, doctors can’t work out why. “Planning” now seems a lot trickier.
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KaciNC Sep 2, 2024
I had something similar and the doctors did heart test, etc. When my general doctor was talking about not knowing what to do, she ask me if she could try something... She quickly lowered the back of the table I was laying on , the said 'Yup!' Turns out it was benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. Apparently, this is common. I just have to do an exercize where I lay down, etc. to replace the crystal that moved into the wrong area.
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Having to fear another infection. Until this year I never worried about it but now have been hit by them.
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Sometimes our restrictions are in our mind.

I'm currently in Montana. It is unbelievable who active seniors are here. People in their 70's and older mountain bike, ski, hike, walk.

I'm only 63 but people 20 years older than me are more fit. I was invited by a group of women to go kayaking. Most of them are close to 80.

We watched a bike race. There were a lot of finishers in their 70's who finished the 90 mile course or the 50 mile course. The course was high elevation riding on dirt/gravel trails.

It was inspirational.

I'm working on upping my game.
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Brandee again--

I learned eating the low inflammation diet really eliminated my aches and pains.

It takes a bit more cooking and planning but my results have been dramatic.
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Another thing that surprised me was how the grown children now view us (we both are now 78). Well, both hubby and I each have a 28 year old Jeep Grands that we both love, and bought as used vehicles. The kids keep insisting on taking us to a new car showroom to buy a new car. Stop it !!


There is no way we want anything to do with the vehicles they make today. Way too much distraction inside. In our old vehicles we know where every button is blindfolded.


We don't need a car to talk, beep, or sound an alarm... we don't need to answer a cellphone via that screen... we don't need a backup camera...


we don't need google map because I know how to read a map.... and what happened to the gear shift??? sorry but turning a dial just doesn't cut it. Plus I don't want to dig out my reading glasses just to go from "park" to "drive".


Our old Jeeps are great climbers, we don't need to shovel our driveway (not easy at our age) as they can climb over what the street snow plow puts in front of our driveway. We don't need to worry about door dents in parking lot as we probably couldn't find a new dent from the old ones. Yes, the paint is peeling off the roof of one Jeep, but heck, easier to find in a parking lot :)
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cwillie Sep 2, 2024
I fell the same way. My corolla is an'09 and although I'd kind of like to upgrade I don't want most of the bells and whistles that come with newer cars, I'm hoping if I wait a few years the pushback against some of the more ridiculous options will result in some better designs.
(side note - why do they call them options when they're not optional?)
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Same for me. The loss of muscle strength and stability walking
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For me, it was a sudden problem (balance etc) not obviously related to ageing, but clearly much more common as bits of the body wear out.

I’ve just been reading Oliver Sacks last book (Rivers of Consciousness), which has made me realise (all over again) how people of all ages have huge problems that they didn’t expect – tourettes etc sound just awful. It’s more common as you age, and there is less to gain than ‘curing’ someone younger. How do we cope with dignity as we age?
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Anxietynacy Sep 18, 2024
That's a good way to look at it Margaret, people of all ages can sit around feeling sorry for themselves, for there issues mental, physical, or Nero divergent, but it's how you deal with them.
I'm going to look up that book today.
My son has tourets, my other is Asperger's, me dyslexic, I wondered if there all related.
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So I was reading today that I'm not imagining that my teeth are more cooked than they used to be, apparently it's not uncommon that bone loss in aging can cause teeth to shift.
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MargaretMcKen Sep 23, 2024
I hope 'crooked' not 'cooked'! And yes, mine are too!
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The sudden lack of balance is astounding. I was never coordinated but this is a whole new level of being uncoordinated. And the droopy face, though I'm not wrinkly, my face looks like it sort of melted. And the weight gain...I never dreamed I would be so large. I have no idea what to dress in anymore. I used to have certain styles that looked nice on me, but now nothing looks particularly nice. I just go for clean and not frightening. And I'm just generally achy and nearly always sad.
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"I just go for clean and not frightening."

🤣🤣🤣
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If I'm sick for a day or two, it feels like I've been down for a week! Huffing and puffing as I go up to the 2nd floor of my house. What the heck?

I NEVER do that, until after I've been sick!

I'm only 60, and I go to the gym 5 days a week! What's it going to be like when I'm 80? Gaaaah!
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At age 63 I've outlived 3 friends.
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The amount of food I have started to wear
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freqflyer Sep 23, 2024
kellse, same here. Like, what's up with that?
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