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But think it through. Number one, you called for assistance immediately. Number two, your mother didn't want to go to the ER. Number three, you watched her closely and if you'd observed the slightest thing you would have acted on it. Number four, even if she had gone to the ER, what would they have done that didn't happen anyway? Number five, sitting in the ER for a couple of hours would have exposed her to infection, not to mention the stress and fatigue of being in such a noisy, brightly lit, confusing environment. Number six, supposing they had rushed her into a scan of some sort, what would they have done about anything they might have found? Number seven, the overwhelming probability is that a scan would have turned up no information but exposed mother to a large and needless dose of radiation...
There was NO good reason to override your mother's preference and take her to the ER.
I know that doesn't stop you feeling guilty. But it does make the decision correct!
I think part of your search is part of you grieving the changes in your mum which are also losses. You see your mum declining and want to be sure you are doing everything you can to help her. but inevitably, over time, as will happen to all of us, the decline continues no matter what you or the drs do. The searching is part of grief as is the sadness. Give yourself time and space to process this. And give yourself time to "enjoy" your mum as much as possible, and to enjoy your life apart from your mum. ((((((hugs)))))
Did you ask her what treatment she thought they'd prescribe?
My mother has said no more ER trips for her "dizzy" spells (last one was more concerning, as she had some of the symptoms of a stroke; this was the last time she went to the ER, and now she says no more). The option of urgent care isn't even appropriate, as these events always occur in the evenings. (And then of course you know she's there for hours and hours, and we end up leaving the ER in the middle of the night. Yawnnn.....)
You all calmed my heavy aching heart. I have been crying bucket loads of tears all morning. When a trip to ER was mentioned, my first thought was remembering everything I have read on here about that, just like you all have you just said. It's so hard watching her fail every day and then get a little better and go backwards again I just have to know I'm doing what's right for her.
Thank you all so much 😭😢😟😘😊☺️ All these emotions have wore me out but I'm very grateful for you all and feel so much better 😍
Big big hugs and smiles I hope your day is beautiful 💜
And if she went willingly and allowed an MRI or scan of her head and they said "I think you can expect more TIAs" what would you do? What could they do?
I'm glad you are feeling a little better about the incident now. I do understand the overwhelming feeling of responsibility for a loved one. But try to save your guilty tears for things you actually have some control over. You could not force her to go to ER. You cannot change her risk levels for future medical events.
"Sit down! Where's your walker? Stop rushing around! Give me those pillows! What's *wrong* with you today?!"
I am afraid that the difficulties and risks you've noticed piling up will be back quite soon enough. Meanwhile, as far as you can, enjoy your mother's good days as you might enjoy good weather in the fall.
Uncertainty is very stressful, I do feel for you. If everything followed a smooth, predictable path at least we'd know what we need to do to help.
I'd think that the stress of the ER might do more damage than good at this point.
If she'd had another TIA, would there be a treatment for that? Is she already on blood thinners to prevent stroke?
I would consult with the neurologist by phone if you are worried.
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