By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Sorry she isnt here with you any more, I too have been caring for my mother for 10yr. After clearing her things out of her apartment it is becoming real. All those things I dreamt of doing dont seem so important anymore....all I see is an empty floor.
Mine hasn't passed yet, but we have lived so long for them... who are we?
The other answers are good up there..... take time to heal and strengthen.
Get a new haircut. Go to the dentist. Have a medical checkup. Stop at the makeup counter in a good department store and let those girls do their thing on a free makeover. Walk in the park. Call an old friend from high school. Go to the library, check out a juicy novel and join one of the book clubs. Offer to read to the children's reading group. Go to the YMCA and see what interest you.
I am sorry for your loss. Ten years is such a long time to be strong. Keep your chin up and fill that void with positive and good things!
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/love-notes-from-caregivers-who-lost-someone-186973.htm
LOVE NOTES FROM CAREGIVERS WHO HAVE LOST SOMEONE.
How are you today? Give yourself time.
I'm also single, with no Children, and I'm 55 years young. I have been caring for My Mum for these past 21/2 years. My Mother has Alzheimer's and is 86 years.I have asked Myself that question too, WHAT WILL I DO WHEN MOTHERs
BATTLE WITH ALZHEIMER's IS ENDED ? I know there is a mourning period, and I find great comfort going for long walks by the coast, which is not far from where I live. It's a great way to de stress. After a time I will get back to work again, and try to bring normality back into My Life. I will get a dog, that way I will get in plenty walks daily. Give Yourself time Savannah to heal. Do not rush it, just take in plenty fresh air. After 10+ years x 24/7x365 You kneed a long vacation, and when You are ready, You will know what the next step is.
Any time you have a change in your life is the best time to adopt new habits.
Take steps towards normalcy, even if you have to force yourself.
You now have some free time, so spend a little more on yourself, walk 30 minutes in the AM, eat better, call old friends. Make a list of the things you never had time for and try to do a couple a week. Join something that will provide routine: scrapbooking class, book club, etc..
Most importantly, forgive yourself for the guilt over the relief you feel. Give yourself permission to be happy. You are important and your deserve happiness.
Best Wishes
L
So sorry for your loss, and the empty void that is left afted mom's passing. You have made the first step by asking the question. See you on here again, tomorrow, or when you are ready.
What would YOU like to do? What have you always wanted to, especially during the last 10 years, but couldn't do because of your caregiving responsibilities?
Do you want to ...travel? go back to work? do volunteer work? read? take up a new craft or hobby?
And what were you doing before becoming a caregiver? Perhaps you'd like to pick up where you left off.
Well, first, I'd find a church I wanted to join. At your new church, volunteer for all the bake sales, rummage sales and spaghetti dinners. I'm assuming you have a job. If not, get one...at the least, part-time.
I assuming you're single. Buy a couple new outfits and explore area singles dances. If for no other reason than social and exercise. I met my partner of 15 years at a singles dance when I was 53. You have time.
Pick a hobby. Any hobby. Take some classes. I just got thru getting my concealed carry license. I'm 68 years old. It's never too late. I'll just share that I have COPD and have survived two cancers. Next Friday, we're going to line dancing classes with some neighbors.
Resurrect some girlfriends. We have a crew of four that go. Out the fourth Friday of every month to laugh our little butts off and make fools of ourselves.
Little by little by little. You are a young woman who's probably, as a caregiver, acting like an old woman. Buy some dancin' shoes! It's time to rock!
What I did was I found a physical sport I LOVE - pickleball. I play it as many days a week as I can. It lets me get exercise, be with other nice people, yell, and be competitive in a fun way. I've introduced a number of women to the sport and we all love it. Find some kind of physical activity you can do and enjoy. It would be better for you right now if it would be some kind of group activity, so you can be around others. Whether it's yoga or zumba or a spin class or pickleball, whatever you can do an enjoy is a great way to start!
Get active in some groups. I started my own women's group a year ago through MeetUpdotcom for women over 50 and I've met some wonderful women through that group. A number of us have parents we're caregiving for or have done that in the past. So try to find some women you can become active with. Just sharing your life with others can make you feel so much more connected and positive.
I also volunteer three hours a week at a non-profit and then I do some individual volunteer events through my group. Volunteering is a wonderful way to feel useful and to meet other very nice people. Feeling needed after being a caregiver stops is important to our sense of selves, I believe.
So start thinking about your personal caregiving plan for yourself and get started. It will take a while, but I guarantee if you get out and about with others, you'll start to feel better. Hugs and please come back and keep us posted on how you're doing. We understand!
While I have sibs, I don't have sibs. They did not help, instead caused trouble at every opportunity. I am fortunate that I have three children and four grandbabies, which helps, but I don't want to become dependent on them for my life or entertainment. Find some things to do that you like to do. Even if it is going for walks by yourself. You have been through the trauma of losing a parent to this wretched disease, give yourself time to grieve and mourn. You will get a life back, it is just going to take time. Be patient with it. Rome was not built in a day.
I am very sorry for your loss. And I also know you lost mom many years before she passed. A devastating disease.
We could probably use more information. Were you caring for her in your home or hers? Will you be moving because her home will be sold? Or inheriting it and staying put? How old are you? Any children? Were you taking care of her at home until she passed, or was she in a nursing home for a period of time? Any siblings?
If you can share more, you may get better replies.