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I can't sleep at night, I can't leave my own home thinking the phone will ring, and forget about going away even for a weekend. I keep telling myself that it was my parent's own choice not to move to a retirement village and that they have to take responsibility for their choice. The only time I am not worrying about my parents is when I am at work, too busy to worry.
I can't shake it... at least I know what NOT to do as I get older.... sell my home and find a really nice retirement village :)
Believe me, as people get older, they become very egocentric. "It's all about me" becomes their mantra. You are an angel to do what you're doing. You will be utterly USELESS to them if you continue to let them call the shots.
You're the boss, Applesauce. Be assertive. Realize you are doing for them what 99% of children wouldn't do in a million years. Become a benevolent dictator. You deserve it. And, if you don't? You'll burn out and won't be any good to them at all. You'll get resentful, if you aren't already. You'll wonder why you've put your life on hold. When what you SHOULD be doing is giving yourself a huge pat on the back and being sooo proud of yourself you could burst.
"Yeah, dad, hold that list. I'm just going to veg out today." Let that become YOUR mantra. ;)
Do it!!
Well, my sister didn't survive the stress. I think that you need to get out permanently and start earning your Soc. Sec. and health insurance.
Your counselor is right, see how much time you need and how much you can give your parents, work and gently let them know you can do this and that and certain times or days. Good luck
Get them to an elder care attorney and have them make a plan for their long term care. Find yourself a therapist or counselor and work out a plan for getting your life back. Read the other posts on this site and be forewarned about what could happen.
struggling under caregiving , loss of self determination and a crippled construction industry , i told my mom once if she nagged me about a buick recall notice one more time id cram the car in a dumpster and burn it .
ocd dont cut it with me . i see now that the ocd was part of dementia but idda still burned the car .. armpit deep in broken exhaust manifold bolts on my work truck -- it was the straw that broke the camels back ..