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and Sister before Mother's death. I asked sister-in-law to stay with Sister and Dad until I got back from out-of-state workshop. It would have been a day or two day asking. I have told brother of my need to be at my home, have a long needed vacation and every third weekend free. I am frayed. My brother who I
love and respect very much is always saying how much he appreciates what I am doing. They will be returning from a week long vacation out of state today.
I need prayers and relief. (I do have a housekeeper for 3 hours every T,W, Th while I work. I did get healthcare people to come to give showers, attend to medical needs, and OT care.) Am I asking for too much or am I just being selfish? Brother does take Dad to Doctor visits...I can no longer lift his wheelchair. I take Sister to all of her many Doctor visits.
You might be a Caregiver if... you feel guilty when you take time for yourself and angry if you don't!
I have hundreds of these, "You might be a Caregiver if..." statements... try some, they are fun and therapeutic.
Whatever you do, please do not allow your mother to make you feel guilty. I had to learn to listen carefully to that inner voice inside of us which tells us that it's OK to take care of ourselves too. You need to keep up your own strength so that you can take good care of your mother and watch over her. That means taking good care of yourself. I like the title of Leeza GIbbons' book called "Take Your Oxygen First." Apparently enough of us caregivers can fall into the trap of feeling like we should always be doing more for our parents, sometimes at the expense of our own health, that Leeza put that message in the book's title.