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(I hope this is NOT what happened.)
Mom needed a much higher level of care than what my Dad [also in this 90's] could provide. So we opts for Mom to live in the long-term-care section of the Rehab facility. It was self-pay. Thank goodness my parents saved for all these "rainy days" as it was storming out there.
If finances are an issue, see if your Dad could be accepted by Medicaid, which will pay for his care. But frist one would need to check if the long-term-care or nursing home accepts Medicaid.
Another reason we had my Mom live at long-term-care, it would have been heartsick for my Dad to see Mom in that condition day after day, 24/7. When he visited her, he could only stay a half hour, he would be so upset.
Kristinr, tell Dad if he doesn't go to Rehab, then he would lose his health insurance... sometimes we need to tell a therapeutic lie to get elderly to do what is in the best interest.
All your Mother has to do is say she can not care for him.
When something bad happens, I have to deal with it
so I'm the Captain now.
You need to protect mom.
You can tell dad that there will be no one home to care for him, since you're taking mom on a cruise.
Make sure that discharge office knows that dad will be returning to an empty house, since you have no intention of catering to his ill advised plan. If they insist that they are discharging him home, ask for them to put in writing that they know that they are discharging a vulnerable elder into an unsafe hime environment.
Sorry to hear what is happening with your dad. Can the hospital staff help your family talk to your dad about his options. Can they offer home care? Advice on hiring a caregiver for your dad? Or have your dad talk to a social worker? I hope you can find the right options and care for your dad and mom.