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The fact that your father doesn't have much money does not now make you responsible for him financially.
That is what Medicaid is for. So get the ball rolling on that, and get help from your local Area Agency on Aging in finding him the appropriate facility for him to be placed in.
It does sound like he has some mental decline/dementia going on, and that never gets better, only worse, so get your/his ducks in a row now.
Best wishes in getting this all figured out.
No you are not a bad person . You did not make your father old or ill . This does not mean your retirement life has to be put on hold .
You can call social services for your county and discuss 3rd person guardianship appointed by a judge. This is assuming no one is currently his PoA.
No, you're not a bad person for wanting your lives back. You've done yeoman's work to this point helping him. Bless you for that.
I am sorry that your dad has struggled with cancer. I hope that he is recovering well.
These situations are hard for everyone. Yes, it’s tremendously difficult for cancer patients, but it is also hard for the caregivers.
Of course, you and your wife deserve to have your life and home back. I am glad that you will be speaking to your dad soon.
Have you contacted Council on Aging in your area? If not, start there. They will do a needs assessment on your dad.
Make certain that you tell them that you and your wife will no longer be able to care for him due to planning for your own retirement.
They can guide you through this process.
Wishing you and your family all the best.