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Get an outside job of your own. That will help them look harder for your replacement.
Second do you live with them or they with you.
Third where is your husband in all of this.
My daughter says...turn it back on them. Ask dear FIL if he would like to take care of grandma because you would gladly hand her over. (U may want to mention everything u do for her) Call his bluff. If he says no thats your job, then tell him if that is so then keep his opinions to himself. Your the Caregiver so things are done your way. Do not take anything from men like this. Stand up for yourself. If he starts hollering walk away.
I also would do nothing for this man. He can get himself something to eat, wash his clothes and clean up for himself. You have enough with grandpa. And DH needs to step up to the plate telling his Dad the same thing. "Wife will step out of the way and let you take over."
Perhaps you could contact your Area Agency on Aging and see if a case manager could come to your home and evaluate the situation. They could do a needs assessment and see what services might be available for your family. It certainly sounds like you could use some help.
It’s possible they could help FIL better understand GM’s condition.
Here is a link to their website. Look it over and give them a call.
https://www.lmtaaa.org/
This is an overview of what you can look for on the site.
https://www.agingcare.com/local/lewis-mason-thurston-area-agency-on-aging-olympia-area-agency-on-aging-wa
How does your father-in-law fit in this picture? Does he live with you, or just visits occasionally? I know you say that he "for sure doesn't have dementia," but if he's making things up regarding the care of his mom, it makes me wonder if perhaps he doesn't have some mental decline. I don't know. We're only hearing your side of the story, and as you know there are always multiple sides.
If grandmas care is getting to be too much for you and your father-in-law thinks he can do better, let him. You are not obligated to continue to care for her. If you're having to now wonder if she is going to wander away from home, it may be time for her family to be looking into placing her in the appropriate facility.