By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You really have to be your loved one's advocate and do your own research. What I have done in the past is go to the doctor with what I found and what my thoughts were. I still didn't get an answer, but the silence told me everything that I needed to know.
With my past experiences with dying LOs at the end of life, it was very similar to what you described and they could very well just be keeping him comfortable. Your dad's feet and legs being purple reminded me of what I was told many years ago- that people die from the feet up.
((Hugs)) to you!
It is baffling that medical professionals can't speak openly about the signs of a body dying. It doesn't have to be a frightful experience, it can be beautiful and even more so when everyone that loves him has a chance to come say goodbye and wish him well on his next journey.
May God grant you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time. May your father pass peacefully on to his next journey. Hugs!
Locally there are only 3 hospice beds in nursing homes and all were occupied. There has been a huge fundraising campaign for a Hospice House with will be build soon and have several beds available.
HSB, it could be that the nurses are not allowed to answer questions and must refer family to the doctors. Mum too had a heck of a time connecting with s/d's doctors. She had to catch them when they did their rounds in the morning.
Have you contacted Hospice? They would help out.
I would find the Hospital Social Worker or Patient Advocate and have a sit down talk with them to determine what exactly is going on and spell out what course if any will be taken.
Hospital is not a great place to be in any case and if possible to discharge him to Rehab might be a good option if he can be discharged. Or if he is in fact at End of Life discharge to home where he can be comfortable and with family without the Hospital noise and the possibility of picking up another infection.
So your father is now in an isolation ward. Are you happy that the essentials are being covered, and that he now is being kept as comfortable as possible? Variable pressure air mattress, mouth swabs, repositioning and so on? Is anything being done to alleviate his symptoms? If there is no air mattress, it's important that your father is regularly repositioned - but you and your sister are both experienced carers, I'm sure you already know all this.
I don't know what to suggest as far as lassoing a doctor goes (I'm in the UK, and goodness knows we have our own issues). When you say they do appear as if by magic whenever there's a billing issue, does that mean that your father's hospital fees are covered by insurance - his own, or a state program? I'm just wondering if there could be any leverage at that end.
Given your father's pre-existing conditions, it would perhaps be best to "hope for the best, prepare for the worse" but bearing in mind most of all what is really best for your father. Do you have access to pastoral support and counsellors while you're all going through this?
I think if I were you I would be very frank with the senior nursing staff: look them in the eye and say simply "please tell us what we need to know. It's important to us to be prepared." If they still duck the question, perhaps ask for a hospital chaplain to attend - not only for moral support, but also because these people are trained and experienced in communication.
My father's legs from his knees down are purple and his feet a very dark purple. I asked the ICU sister why this happened and if it was due to circulation, she said that it would be best to ask the doctor. We do feel as if they are not telling us what we should know. We also believe that something happened to my father during the two days in the isolation ward prior to his hurried transfer to the ICU. He was very confused the day they transferred him and was making growling noises and using his arms to make lunging gestures, as if he was seeing something we were not. We alerted the nursing staff to what we were seeing, the doctor, who was not on call that day, ordered immediate bloodwork and they then transferred him to ICU. It was extremely upsetting to see him behave in that manner. He went from being okay to very ill in a matter of a few days. We are at our wits' end at this stage, it is almost impossible to speak to the ward manager, hospital manager and most importantly the doctor. The only time when they are visible is when they need to discuss outstanding accounts which have not been paid by his medical aid!!! (Apologies if any of this sounds strange to you, we are from South Africa and do not use the same terms as United States etc.)
Thank you for your feedback, appreciated.
Does he have a DNR in place? Last Wishes? POA?
I'm so sorry that you are going through this hard and sad time.
Ask the nurses if they have a med to dry up the secretion in his throat, and swabs to keep the inside of his mouth moist and comfortable. (((((Hugs))))).
When you say, you can't get a straight answer from the nursing staff... what sort of information do you feel you're not being given?
This is a terribly sad and difficult time for you and your family. We're here and listening if there's anything we can say to help.