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Cattails.
Sarah
If mother now needs full time care, she is beyond the services of Assisted Living Facilities (ALF), but may need either in-home care services or some other type of care center. It is wonderful that family has been pitching in to help Mother stay home. Family is not obligated to pay her expenses, and as what she needs increases beyond your ability to provide it you need to look into other ways of getting her needs met. Please do the research into what she is eligible for, and help her get it.
Yes, there is help available. I think a good place to start is the Social Services department of your mother's county. A trained professional will know not only what resources are available at the county level but also what other programs are available for you mother, how to look into them, and how to apply. The social worker might suggest applying for Medicaid. There are programs specifically intended to help people stay in their homes as long as possible -- that being cheaper than having them in a nursing home.
Please look into what your mother is eligible for, and help her get it.
by the grace of God. prayers work so if you dont mind, maybe pray for debby in idaho?
thx
You made a mistake, but it was well meant and done in love (and a little ignorance). Forgive yourself for that mistake and then move forward with correcting it. Your mother deserves the best care she can get, not the best care based on what you didn't know several years ago.
Maybe their will be some tears to go along with this decision. Cry if you must, but move forward with what is best for Mother.
Caregiving seems to involve a certain inevitable amount of guilt. If you keep Mom home you'll always wonder guiltily whether she would be better off in a professional care setting. Accept the guilt, push it to the background, and take the best actions you can in the interest of your loved one. Caregivers can't be paralized by guilt and also do the best job of caregiving.
Good luck to you and your mother.
The question is what are the options you can afford, both in money and in time.
Babs, guilt about what, exactly? That she is getting older? That you can't stop it? I found both those things at the root of the guilt I was feeling. But when I saw what it was, I could let THAT part go, some. Investigate what's behind the guilt and see if it makes sense, or is based on unconscious assumptions about what is even fixable.
does your Mom live alone? does she take care of her own finances ? If your questioning if its ok to leave her home alone, then she probably shouldnt be home alone...