By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
It like it was a weird relationship to begin with. I'm not sure that grief causes people to lose their awareness of social cues, so maybe she wasn't good at relationships to begin with and she's got something else going on, like mental illness/depression in the mix. If anything, someone with early-ish signs of dementia/memory impairment usually make a mess of their phone/address contacts (this happened in multiple of my family members, and am watching it happen to my Mom now). So, she is still able to do some very specific things, including driving herself to meet you places, which would make me personally think it is probably not dementia.
Without going to her home to see if it is in disarray (another sign of dementia/depression), you have no way of knowing what's really going on. You don't have any obligation to do anything, but out of mercy, if you want, you can report her to APS if you know her address (and tell APS you'll be blocking her). Then have peace in your heart that this is as much as you can do for her.
Have you thought about suggesting grief counseling? Or maybe she could participate in a grief support group such as griefshare.org.
Tell her that you are busy when you don’t have the time to chat.
Why do you suspect that she has dementia? Have you noticed different behavior before her husband died or is it only recently?
Or do you mean she needs watch out for this person because she maybe a problem?
Contact APS on your own and ask them what they'd advise. Make it clear that you are not able to take on her care or supervise her care. She is simply a vulnerable elder you're reporting.
You can do this anonymously so she doesn't know who called.
I have two ways to do this. The honest way and the easiest way.
For honesty:
Dial the phone.
Tell your friend "I have to tell you that I am so sorry. I am not able to talk with you any more on the phone. I hope that you will find support where you live or that you have friends, family or a faith community to reach out to. I simply don't have time and I am already neglecting the friends I have. Do know that I wish you well."
For easiest way:
"Irene, I am so sorry, but I just cannot talk on the phone with you. It honestly hurts my ears, and I don't speak on phone even with family. One ear is almost deaf and the other hears things at a different tenor on the phone that I find disturbing.
Know that I wish you well."
This honestly is intrusive. If you wish to be nice those are the ways to do it.
If not tell her that you cannot accept her calls any more and block her.
Encourage her to find friends
If you wind up speaking with her agai for whatever reason, perhaps suggest she get to her doctor for a full physical because she seems a bit off lately..not like her old self.
Good luck to you.