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As for over- or under-medicating, I find this happens, even in the nursing home. Due to limiting factors, they can only do so much. They can't stop the mind's deterioration, or the natural decline eventually leading to death. I try to remember that even "experts" are still "practicing" physicians, and do not have all the answers.
Many of our loved ones are vulnerable, and can't adequately protect themselves. We do the best we can to fill in the gaps, and leave the rest to God in prayer.
Being in a nursing home doesn't have to be forever either. If they are still physically able, you may want to consider an assisted living facility to give them some kind of independence. They have dementia wings and many locations. Assisted living is also much cheaper than a nursing home. Everyone feels guilty in the beginning, but as long as you are on top of things and BE INVOLVED...question the staff, observe the staff--make sure you do visit with your parents, then things will start to get better.
I don't know what kind of NH's you have there but we have very nice ones.
As far as just a place to die, in reality, so is your home, sorry.
dad stayed in the rehab for 2 weeks and i often come in to ck on him and find him sittin in wheel chair , cryin to go to his room they tell him no . he has bad back andbed sores and he wants to get offthe wheel chair bad . it makesme so sick to my stomach , they have nerve to tell my dad no ! he is a grown man and shouldnt be told no !! he has the rights to do what he wants to do that will make him comfertable . after the rehab was over i took him home to where he could be comfertable and be himself and feel safe ,,,,