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You seem to be afraid that your mom will be upset if you contact an agency because it may get your brother in trouble. Have you had a good, non-intimidating talk with your brother? In other words, have you discussed your mom's symptoms without blaming him and suggested that you work together to get her into a doctor? It could be that he just doesn't know what to do. If your brother is deliberately keeping your mom from getting the care she needs, then you shouldn't worry about what your mom thinks. Call Adult Protective Services and ask for a welfare check.
Please let us know how things progress.
Take care,
Carol
Your mother needs to be seen by a doctor. The fact that she's resisting makes it harder, but you must insist, for her sake. If you had a child who was ill and didn't want to go to the doctor you'd take her anyway, right? The same holds true for your mother; she's unable or unwilling to do what's right for her health, so you have to step up.
I sympathize with you. I have spinal problems, and a MIL who is sinking rapidly into dementia but is "too busy" (hoarding and sorting through stacks of junk mail) to see a doctor. I suspect it's because she's afraid of what he'll tell her. That may be why your mother is resisting: fear of being deemed "senile" and being sent to a nursing home.
I wouldn't be surprised if things are going on with your mother, like falls and episodes of wandering, that she and your brother are keeping from you. It's not good that she isn't eating properly, is in pain, and her home isn't clean.
Medicare sends monthly mailings /bills.. Look for an envelope from them. It should say United Healthcare on the envelope..
You can call medicare and ask them what Dr she has listed..
What am I supposed to do? Let them suffer the consequences of their stubborn behavior rather than let it drive me nuts? Even at 90, she still seems to be in her right mind about some things, just refuses to accept care even though she needs it. And getting mad at me for trying to help does not help our relationship. I refuse to clean out that house without assistance. It's too hard living 2 hours away and having my brother move his junk in there. I told her he won't call me and she said he's just not sociable. She won't even stand up to him! I just want to go on about my life and forget about them, I am so tired of being treated like a Pest! Maybe I should call her Elder Law Attorney...
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