By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
edvieair- My Dad is still fighting the war in his head. And you are not the first or the last that will tell me he is in self destruct mode. And you are right he hears certain words like "action plan", "nursing homes", "day care", "long term care", "wheelchair bound" and he just comes out fighting and the sad thing is ultimately the only one he is going to physically hurt is himself. But it takes a huge emotional toll on him and me. Two years ago I had to convince him to keep on with Chemo so he could see his grand kids grow up. As for the self preservation I wish he had more of it. More of a will to live life to the fullest, like what is out there for him. What other types of services are there that would let him live a fuller life? I can't imagine sitting in a wheelchair for most of the day is enjoyable when you mind thinks you can still walk down the street and go fishing, driving, shopping at the local hardware store, woodworking, ect. My Dad and I are very much alike we are both go getters. The funny thing is he says I'm stubborn and I always tell him I learned from the best! But I just haven't found that spark to light the way so he will see what is on the other side. VA has a lot of services that he would love. The open door policy is something that he would love, where in the private nursing homes it is a lock down facility. I tried straight talking to him this morning but only a little bit because that is what he can handle. I know for a fact that he can handle a whole conversation of a long term care action plan.
If everything goes right he might be going to a short term care (30days) to fix his medication problem.
He sounds withdrawn and on self-destruct mode. In Vietnam, no one knew for certain who the enemy was. Being scared to death for so long, even a year, turned many young men into complete basket cases for the rest of their lives, but your Dad was one of the lucky ones. Still, I'd get paranoid too if I were told I'm going to be sent into yet another battlefield -- a NH. I'd dig my claws and entrench myself to keep from being removed from the only place where I feel relatively safe.
He seems to have given up hope, and his current behavior can be described as slow suicide. But the fact that he's taking his meds, albeit not on time, indicates the flame of self-preservation is still alive. At least this is a fight he can win. Getting him to want to live again and care for himself, however, isn't going to be easy. You'll need to adapt, improvise, and find other sources of strength like support groups for Vietnam vets, fora like this one, and perhaps faith-based organizations.
In the meantime, straight talk with him. He can handle it. There's still hope he might wake up from that fog, so don't give up on him until you've done all you can and can't do. ... Not yet.
-- ED
If you provide a few more details on the type of assistance he is needing, it may help. If he's of sound mind and refuses any help, all you can do is make sure he has something to eat every day, has access to his meds, can take care of his basic needs of toileting and hygiene.
If he's not taking care of his basic needs and is refusing any help and refusing his meds, then the case can be made that he is not of sound mind, no matter how logical he sounds.