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if she was being medicated in such a way as to relieve
her and make it easier ,lesspain,less aggitation,removing
the feeling she describes as "my heart is racing",
releaving the feeling in her throat that she says makes
it difficult to swallow- if her meds were dealing with these things,or helping tocalm her down,lighten the fear,etc,then i would have no problem-
i realize she is going to die-she is declining- but now that some of her physical problems have been managed,for now,
she is eating,gets hungry and eats--
i am the one who notices these things,i dont know why the
visitng nurses,the social worker,the aides,why no one else
seems to think my obsevations are anything but denial-
maybe they are-in a way, but i do know that there are many meds that are around-for this kind of situation,-
and it is possible that there may be other ways to manage these things.
while she is still alive, i find it very disturbing to be advised
to just hand her care over to agencies and doctors and inadaquate caregivers.I will question and be a pest as long as i feel something isnt right or that there is another way to deal with her problems.
so thanks for the advise, but im not ready to give in-
and my mom and i are trying to deal with the inevitable, her death- we have been talking about it-
and my grieving started months ago-
but she is still here,alive-she knows who people are-
and she is suffering-
i think i may have been under the misconception that this
was a place i could vent-andmaybe get a little relief-
maybe i just find it too difficult to be told to just face it-
but she is my mom,and i cant just go along when i feel
somethings arent right-
i do have good intuition-we all do- we need to follow our gut -
i grew up around doctors, my father was an orth surgeon for over 50yrs,started manyorth clinics -taught so many at HSS,NYH,etc-doctors dont have all the answers,
and the system certainly isnt set up to make it any easier for the patient and /or the families-unless $$$ is to be gained.
I was a bit shocked......I told her that THAT IS THE DOSAGE HE IS CURRENTLY TAKING NOW...???
She was flustered and confused. I am not surprised...this office has lost charts, medications, missed appointments, not called back for three weeks for a test result that took four days...I mean were are looking at gross incompetence here now...
She gets a bye as she is a new employee there, but even the doctor is an imbecile I swear. If this was my doctor I would change doctors immediately but Grandpa doesn't want to change doctors so it is what is is....INSANE!
Gonna put this on grossed thread too..
Best,
Hap
it helps when i hear someone i dont know-who can be objective-
to reassure me that i am doing what i should be doing-
i would say the same to someone-don be afraid- i say that all the time, but somehow when it is me-inmy situation- i too get intimidatedand i know better- and its just helpful to read your comments--thanks-
and about that aarp pharmd- i have to check that out- it sounds like a very smart and logical contact- thank you so very much
Debbie
about our aging family-sometimes i have to say to them- that doesnt make sense-what are you talking about-
like they cant ake a istake and they cant explain it to us because we wouldnt understand-man- that really gets me mad
i have had many dissagreements with doctors-so much so
that this time around with my mom in the hosp, for 3 weeks, my brother became the one who had POA, my name was taken off
from the paper-he goes along with most of the doctors- it causes alot ofstatic between us- iknow how things are done in hosp- and u really have to watch and be anactive advocate for the patient- otherwise they are just another old and dying person-treated withlittle dignity and respect.
i my brother is a little more aware of what is and isnt being followed thru as far as medical care-
i still make a fuss- i still go a bit crazy- but hey, its my mom, i have to do what i feel is right- and i will admit if i amwrong- i am not totally against "them", but at least they know my mom has someone who is checking things and watching out for her-
its a horrible situation-
i hope it doesnt happen to me-if it does, i dont know if i would want to be exposed to indignity and pain that i see around me
Talk to her doctor and the pharmacist who often is more educated on medications than many physician I have noticed and monitor her. Over medication of the elderly is extremely common in the US.
all her life- and so even any pain med-aspirin-tylenol- medicine
she didnt take- which could be why she is seems to be very
medicated-her resistance is low-
her problem isnt sneaking it- if it were left to her-she wouldnt take it..
but thank u for sharing-
and thank goodness it wasnt critical pills-
i would have been going crazy it it was me--
While surely correct in their suggestions, it seems the responders are basing their suggestions on the idea your Mom is being given medication. If, however, she is taking (or sneaking) medications herself then she should have one person dedicated to giving her the medication she needs with the pillbox hidden during the interim.
I bring this up because in my own history a few days went by before I discovered the Alzheimer's Victim was sneaking medication out of the pillbox I kept in the same place it had always been kept. (Of course, the Victim had no idea they were sneaking pills... the pills were simply available for the taking.) Thankfully, it was only a few days and amounted to only about 3 pills extra than normal... and they were not 'critical' pills.
Good luck!
Best,
Hap
i used to alwaysbe with her at all her doctors appts to help explain, take notes, add anything if necessary- now the situation is different
my brother has become her health proxy-although he is over 4 hours away, i am no longer included-family issues- he hired an agency to help with her day and now nite care- and i have been told to stay out of her health care. i ask many questions, and
challenge why certain meds are being given-i even have the audacity to diagree with some of what they recommend-
ive been thru this with my dad-and i know hosp and doctors-
and even under the best circumstances, mistakes are made-
so i am not always a team player- and i know these agenies
for health home care- somemay have a few good people-most are out to make $-nothing wrong with that
but not at the expense of the elderly-or anyone for that matter
so thanks for your suggestion-i just have to figure out how to get a list of the meds.
thanks for your time
k
Pharmacutical companies give doctors kickbacks & perks for prescribing their meds......this can be a real problem & needs to be kept in check. If the doc is writing scripts for your elder that are not covered by their medicare D then it is usually a red flag that they are new meds being pushed by a pharm rep.. You/elder can refuse to change to the new drug if that is the case. Greed gets into the picture far too often and you may consider changing docs if this is the case; but be careful & investigate the meds & conditions before you/elder make the decision to change....the next doc may be even worse.
I wish you the best.
Blessings, Bridget Wetterer