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Maybe it needed to be, to remind people that judging others is an idiot's passtime. In my family, they should focus on cleaning out their own cages.
Anecdotally, I can tell you fear and adrenaline and naproxen carried me through years of cycles of heavy activity and then collapse. During the physical collapses, there's isolation and fatigue so intense that getting medical diagnoses is sometimes an effort too far.
So now I find I have cervical anterolisthesis, C4 over 5, 5 over 6, and 6 over 7.
I'm sure starrysky knows what that is, without looking it up.
I can also tell you, I can't wait to see these angry, judgemental, hate-filled relatives for the last time. Do your relative a favor, and pretend you're dead.
For some reason, perhaps beyond there control, this person wants to hand over the reigns of responsibility to someone else.
I have known people like this, some lazy, some depressed, some temporarily overwhelmed, in the end they are willing to become a parasite, if they can find a willing host.
Be very clear in your boundaries, on they will continue to encroach.
For you and shakingdustoff this forum is not full of bored women getting their jollies from throwing rocks at others. yes we ocassionaly get a "troll" but they are spotted pretty fast and sometimes people will give what seems to be a short sharp answer because the questioner did not give enough background as in your case. There are rarely general answers that are helpful unless it is a simple question about Medicare etc and them a knowlegeable member can give an accurate answer in few words. Members are very generous with their time and experience and one must remember many are snatching a few minutes at the computer while they have a demented elder screaming at them from the other room. It's like trying to have a phone conversation with a todler pulling on your clothes.
i don't expect either of you to find my comments helpful but that is the best I can do
It has to be frustrating for you. You are a good friend to want to help.
What I have learned is she is very selfish and always has been. She uses the "I am old" when it suits her and she is one of the luckiest women on earth to be so amazing healthy.
Please rethink being any sort of caregiver for her in the future. She has given you a little peek into the world of the totally entitled and selfish. And she will use you up. My mother has not come to visit in 16 years. And all she can say is what a terrible daughter I am because I won't travel 11 hours or pay 500.00 to fly up and stay two days (her time limit because she isn't able to have company any longer according to her).
I hope you day gets better. I never like it when someone is unnecessarily rude on this site.
Shakingdustoff, sounds like you read a lot of stuff into my post that wasn't there - please keep your projections to yourself. I'm in no mood to carry your or anyone else's bs today.