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It is almost 6 am here. I wake up several times at night and often come here. I'm going back to bed.
Or, a coincidence that I should also choose health and turn out that light?
Yes, sometimes, as is repeated so often on here, our loved ones need more care than we can give.
I am sure you did your best, it was not a failure to get her more care, but it was what she needed.
I was just going to share this song lyric with someone else, so my kindle is locked and loaded to copy and paste. I think you also may need some encouragement. Sharing:
Tell Your Heart to Beat Again
Danny Gokey
Lyrics
You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
'Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Don't nag, but say, I will stay on the phone until you drink some water and take your meds.
She may, however, get tired of this and lie to you or not answer the phone.
If your Mom's dementia is becoming worse it is time to think about bringing in home caregivers or moving Mom to Independent Living where they offer med-tech care. My Dad had that, and that worked great. We use to leave notes around his apartment in Independent Living to remind him to take his pills. Those notes worked for a few days and that was it. With med-tech option, all of Dad's pills were stored at the nurses office, and twice a day a tech would come around to give Dad his pills and made sure he took them. Well worth the cost of this service.
It is worth trying everything you can think of to help your loved one take their medications regularly. But I believe there comes a time when it is not safe for someone with dementia/severe memory loss to live alone. We are at that point with our mother.
After all that, I tackled things in a different way later. I took charge of her diabetes and blood pressure medicines by placing a bottle on the mantle that had the pills she was to take the next time. (She has 4 medicine times a day with different drugs.) But she would NOT let me take charge of her Ativan or Tylenol III. Her doctor told me to take charge of the Ativan, but it is not something I look forward to. She is an addict who takes a pill anytime she feels a bit stressed. I know things will go smoothly until the first time she wants to take that extra pill. Then it will get ugly.
I also taped a calendar to the table near the pill box and tell her to "X" out the day after we speak at night. This has helped, too.
The alarmed pill box is a lifesaver if you have your wits about you, otherwise, it's a good tool for caregivers.
Someone did tell us about a product on the market to help. Some kind of electronic dispenser. It is supposed to make a noise or announcement when it is time for medication and open the right compartment. If the pills aren't taken in a certain time, it shuts it down so they can't take too much later. There's even one that hooks to their phone. if the pills aren't taken, it is programmed to call you.
Google automatic or electronic pill dispenser and lots of choices come up. Good luck.