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My mother did rehab in a nursing home. Several of the permanent residents had some form of dementia. Some had to be encouraged to eat. Food was never on their minds.
Other residents forgot that they had already eaten. They would line up by the reception desk. The receptionist would give them a sandwich when they were truly hungry. After that they got cookies.
I saw the receptionist tell a man that he had a full dinner, a turkey sandwich and a cookie and he still wanted something to eat. He was an average sized man. He wasn’t a big guy who looked like he could eat a lot of food.
Interestingly enough, my son, also with mental illness, has developed anorexia with his cancer.
Both had never had anorexia before, so it is possible to have an eating disorder develop in such situations.
Not only that, but swallow may be affected and eating can become almost uncomfortable for some.
If so focus on those for now.
Has she lost weight because of this?
Has she had other problems due to not eating? Like getting dizzy, sleeping more, problems with heart rate or blood pressure, headaches, depression, agitation, feeling cold
If she "helps" prepare a meal is she more apt to eat? If so have her help peel potatoes, stir soup. See if she will "taste test" while you are making a meal.
If she still refuses then I would say this would be a concern and it would be worth a call/visit to the doctor that would not be a false alarm. I am sure that they check her weight and BP at each visit and if they see a marked weight loss there might be a diagnosis of "failure to thrive". This might be a condition that would result in a referral to Hospice.
I do see that you responded with the info that your wife has COVID that can very much effect taste for quite some time after. If that is the cause then trying to focus on what she does like and will eat just to keep her calorie intake up would be ideal.
She has everything you described except high blood pressure. Yes, dizzy, headaches, sleeping LESS, weight loss (not profound), depression, unable to get warm. Many many doctor visits for all of these. Her sense of hopelessness is palatable, and I encourage her each day, maintaining a balance of hope, but without being patronizing. She's fiercely independent and does not like to be told that something is other than what she has already self-diagnosed what it is. For example a recent Urgent visit for "pancreatitis" turned out to be indigestion.
She won't prepare any food. She will make her own smoothies, so she gets that on her own, once a day. She can't find anything in the kitchen, so we need to simplify. Simplification is a lot of work!
“10 more spoons”, I say, as I feed her. I count. She knows it’ll come to an end at 10 (she really doesn’t like to eat).
”great! I lost count, now we need to start over..!”
🤗🎉🥰🤗
more soupy may be a better word …
its hard to keep these bodies going sometimes.
I know sometimes the brain will crave sugar/calories. …
Just try different things.. something might stick, and then the next day… forget it… that stuff is horrible!!!
Not fun…
bake a yam or sweet potato..
maybe keep things simple.
A one item meal..
grilled cheese sandwich ?
ask her what her favorite food was when she was a kid; and tell yours.. make a conversation.,
what you two did not like as a kid, but learned to tolerate it or worse.. Like it!!!
And include other topics so as to not just talk about one thing.
Music, movies, tv shows, games, toys, travel, camping , school, classes, subjects, art, teachers, classmates, sports-PE…
sorry you are going through this, it’s hard..
protein shakes..
ice, frozen fruit blueberries, strawberries.. Trader Joe’s has mixtures;, some frozen peas.. not much..ensure, and I add a tablespoon oh whey powder too..
blend it..
if she likes a banana.. add it.. no wrong creating something fun to eat.
Another friend sent me muscle milk.. chocolate.. it tasted great in the shake.
I made smoothies often for her. She seemed to enjoy drinking more than actually eating.
My grandmother lost her appetite when she got older. Some older people don’t want to eat a whole lot. My grandmother was happy with a boiled egg and one piece of toast for her dinner. Possibly a cup of soup for lunch.
Mom and grandma were excellent cooks in their younger years.
I did forget about whether the food was healthy. She was 93 and I was focused on getting calories in her. She loved sweets.
I would try new items to see if they work. Try different textures, drinks with calories. Mom liked Ensure juice. I had read that a colored plate helps them see their food better. I bought red plates and made sure the portions were small as to not overwhelm her.
You may want to speak with your doctor about a med to increase her appetite. While it did not work for me, some folks on this forum have had good results.
I wish you success. It is very hard to watch your loved one refuse to eat.
Here is a useful link to an article discussing this topic at length:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/poor-appetite-dementia#:~:text=A%20person%20with%20dementia%20may%20lose%20interest%20in%20food.,loss%20and%20less%20muscle%20strength.
If I recall, your wife is sort of fixated with healthy eating and the like, which really isn't helpful in this situation. She can likely convince herself that everything is "bad" and start withering away. I suggest you offer her a "healthful" smoothie with high calorie protein powder ( u can buy on Amazon) with a banana and frozen berries (good antioxidants) and anything else you can think to throw into the blender like flax seed and Greek yoghurt. She may like such a thing, it's worth a try. Experiment. Maybe she likes crunchy food this week and pastas next week.
Best of luck.
People can lose their appetite for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it’s the side-effect of medicines, or losing sense of taste, or getting a metallic sense of taste, or stomach problems, or pain after eating…
My relative must be forced (strongly encouraged). After eating, she’s always happy she did; feels better with food in her stomach.
Every case is different.