By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Certainly there are lawyers that deal with dementia and Alzheimer’s clients. There is a local resource here in Sacramento so I’m sure they would be available nationwide.
Good luck to you!
Also "If you have posted something publicly, then it is “public” for the lawyers and judges, too."
Seems you have tried just about every other avenue. Social media could be what leads you to a solution.
On the rest I guess it is letter writing time again and maybe go public on TIK Tok like it was suggested by Lachelle209. I also know all about PTSD myself. My daughter was shot in the head whole in the Army and no one would investigate it. Years of fighting that trying to find who did it. Cannot sue the Army to get answers either. That eats at me 24/7, so I understand all about anxiety, insomnia, and stress. This problem with mom and her stepson just adds to it. 🤯
Maybe I will write to RFK. I am sure his time is preoccupied though with all that is going on.
What a sad world we are in. It is saturated with criminals and no justice to be found.😢
you = OP
your mother = M
your mother's husband = H
step-son = S
nursing home = NH
Some simple things to start with:
1. It seems H is in an NH. This means he's not in memory care. Or do you mean he's in memory care (for people with dementia)? If he's been diagnosed with dementia, you won't be able to get POA over him. It's too late. Then you can only try to get guardianship ----- but it's extremely expensive if you try; so I don't think you can afford to. In a guardianship case, you can argue in court that you (rather than S) are a better guardian for H. The court will ask H his opinion too: "H, who do you want as your guardian, OP or S?"
If however, H hasn't been diagnosed with dementia, he's completely free to decide for himself who he wants as visitors. Then he's mentally competent. He's even free to leave the NH. Then he's not a prisoner. He can't be kept there against his will.
It seems from the answers you're giving people on the forum that you don't know if H has been diagnosed with dementia or not.
2. You believe H was forced by S to sign POA. Is it possible he wasn't forced? He willingly signed and was mentally competent when he signed? IMPORTANT: If H is still mentally competent, he can revoke the POA whenever he wants. He can make a new POA. Someone needs to inform H he can revoke S.
3. Regarding possible theft, etc. You should report it to the police. Even if the police don't help you, it'll be on record that you tried. In the end, only a lawyer can help you OP.
Like I said, I already went to the police and filed a report. The report is 70 pages long. It is documented, so it is already been reported.
I know this is why the stepson has gotten away with all this stuff for so long because most people cannot afford to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to get help. The stepson can’t afford it because he uses other peoples money that he has stolen. As usual the crooks always win.
I am pretty sure that my mom‘s husband would probably sign anything that anybody put in front of him to be honest. When I talked to an attorney to have the POA changed the attorney told me that my mom‘s husband was probably the kind of person that would sign anything so he could change it every week. I think I am fighting a losing battle when it comes to my mom’s husband because he will not stand up for himself. The only way to do that is to have someone talk to her husband when there was nobody else around and that has been impossible as well.
Alzheimer’s and dementia is one of the worst diseases in the world as far as I’m concerned and I have seen a lot of people pass away. It is an evil cruel disease.
You might want to get poa on both parents and have them declared incompetent or establish guardianship.
I am so sorry his own son would take advantage of him. That is the lowest of lows.
I guess I was hoping that someone knew if ONE even existed that cared about elder abuse in Ohio.
It would help if you could go above the heads of the policemen you have talked to – to the State politician in charge of police, or the local ombudsman (where your ‘case’ would be about being turned down by the police because it’s ‘too hard’ - which is a genuine 'ombudsman' issue). It's possible that the Ombudsman you fell out with has left.
If possible, turn it into a Federal case. Go to the top, not the lower level people, because it IS too hard for the people on the desk.
If you don’t get anywhere, it is very very hard, but don’t let it consume and ruin your life. You only have one.
The one facility actually told me that it didn’t matter that my mom was medical durable power of attorney at the time because the stepson was the financial POA and that’s all they were concerned about was who was making the payment. It’s all about money. It always is.
I don’t want any money from him. I want to see him punished for what he did.
Stepson took a full advantage of the Covid lockdown, and used that as an excuse to keep my mother away from her husband as well. Not sure how he snuck a lawyer in there during Covid lockdown though. No Lawyer wants to listen. I had 70 pages of information that I gave to the police as well. Everything was documented, dated, and I provided all the proof.
What I have went through would probably be a 1 inch thick book if I wrote the majority of it down. I sold my mother’s house because I built it the home she lived in and I had her as joint owner. When she got married, her husband moved into the brand new home and paid for nothing except Cable and food. My mom paid for all of her own stuff.
Medicaid has already done the five-year look back and of course my mom did not qualify because of the assets from her home. That money will be gone in two months. It was hard to even get Medicaid to consider giving her help because she was still married to a man that had lots of assets. The stepson has already taken over all of his father‘s assets and removed my mom as the beneficiary and put himself as beneficiary and cashed out annuities. Like I said, I was hoping someone could recommend a lawyer because I have already done and tried everything that has been suggested. The biggest issue I have is my own health is failing fast. I’m not sure that I can live long enough to see this through. Stepson is an evil monster and I hope Karma catches him soon. Him buying a $1.2 million home in Florida after he did this was a slap in the face to his own father. He has done this more than once to the elderly. He can afford lawyers because he uses the money he steals.
OP, you risk however that the news will also not touch this case. A lot of people just don’t care and don’t want to get involved.
Keep also trying to find a lawyer who will help you.
From your description OP, it seems your parents weren’t officially diagnosed with Alz/dementia. It seems like it’s a diagnosis you gave.
If there really had been a diagnosis by a doctor, the step-son clearly violated the law by getting a signature for POA from
a person with dementia. Since no lawyer wants to take the case, I believe it’s - you - saying they have dementia: but that’s only your opinion. Then it’s very difficult to prove the signature was forced. Your father then willingly signed. He didn’t have a gun to his head. Proving undue influence is very hard.
I hope someone can help you.
You're in a very unfortunate situation with no one willing to help you.
The only type of person who can help you is a lawyer.
POA/etc., these are legal documents. Only a lawyer can try to help you to challenge the step-son's POA document. But you said no lawyer wants to get involved. I wonder if that's because they know you don't have much money to pay them? Or do they believe you have no case?
It's terrible you're in this situation. When our loved ones get elderly, that's exactly when one sees greed, etc., the true nature of various family members. This happens to so many families everywhere.
I know I need a lawyer, but that’s the problem. I can’t find one. I have spent hours and hours making phone calls and writing letters with no help and even no replies. The police told me that it was hard to convict because the stepson had POA and that’s what the law goes by. He told me that what the stepson did was very bad and very unethical, but was not illegal so I would have a hard time.
Our legal and justice system seems to only work for the crooks. You noticed that? Our government proves that.
Since you wrote that your Mom was caring for her husband all by herself for 13 years tells me she must have been physically and emotionally exhausted. I can see why the husband's son had stepped in. Enough was enough.
Now more than ever I wish I had been a lawyer because not one good one can be found. At least I cannot find one. Been trying for a long time.
Having a POA signed under duress, or if the person signing cannot understand what they are signing is illegal.
I am so sorry you have not found an agency willing to investigate for you & your family.
There is a Govt agency website for reporting suspected elder abuse where I live.
Is it possible to reach out to the relevant local council level & ask who to report to? Keep being the squeaky wheel?
It may be hard to PROVE the POA was illegal. Alz Dx will be a factor, but even so, someone with cognitive decline or memory loss can often still be very clear about having family be their nominated person. What is and isn't legal if a dx of Alz has already been made.. that is completely out of my knowledge.
The law seems set up so that everyone is deemed to have capacity (unless proved NOT to have). This is where western medicine & the law collide.
I hope you get some more knowledgeable answers ro help you.
If a lawyer even tried he could get paid from recovering the money this monster stole. I do not want a dime. I just want what he stole from my mom.
No justice. The world has gotten so sickening and evil.
This isn’t a civil matter. It’s a criminal matter.
Did the son take his Dad to an attorney? If so it's shocking that the attorney would allow this if the Dad appeared fearful or hesitant. Still, if it was done with online forms the doc still has to be signed in front of a notary with 2 non-family witnesses. Has he ever produced the paperwork to show he was the PoA?
"I have tried to find a lawyer to help me, but no one wants to get involved."
Do you mean you presented the evidence and the attorney didn't think you had a case? I can't imagine a lawyer would turn this down without some review. Did they ask for a steep retainer to take the case? At the very least you need to recover her portion of the assets.
I'm so sorry for this distress situation but I'd go right to the attorney before that jerk spends all the money.
His son has already spent the money. He bought a 1.2 million dollar home in Florida. Meanwhile his dad is locked up and isolated from his wife. The guy is a monster.
I have medical statements, too of his dad having alzheimers. Pro Seniors is useless and so was Elder Fraud Unit.
I cannot find anyone to help. It has been over 3.5 years. My mom just gave up. It makes me so angry how crooks can get away with everything and there is no justice for the innocent.
The POA has no rights to do what he did. And because ALZ is involved, Moms husband was not capable to sign a contract. I would start with APS and then a lawyer.
I called APS, police, and so many attorneys. No one is interested and no one cares. Said it was too complex. They said I could apply for guardianship of mom’s husband, but I know that would be a waste of time and money because the court would not give me guardianship over his dad and over a biological son. The son is also a compulsive liar and has lots of money to get these kind of lawyers. Not sure how he got the POA forms signed. The ones form he had his dad sign was during the lockdown so I have no idea how he got an the Atty in there.