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First, let me say how sorry I am about your grandfather.
We went through this same thing with my mom. Mom had CHF, which is what she eventually passed from. She also had a pacemaker/defibrillator unit, and once she went into hospice, we had the defibrillator turned off. It was a simple, non-evasive procedure that took place in her cardiologist's office - she didn't even have to take her shirt off.
Hospice told us that once she was dying, if the defibrillator wasn't turned off, there was a chance she would be getting "shocked" while she was actively dying; while this would not be painful for her, it can be very difficult for the family to observe. And at the point she was at in her CHF, having a defibrillator wouldn't have made one bit of difference to her life expectancy. Also, turning off the defibrillator would NOT affect the pacemaker, which was really more what my mom needed.
Also, if your grandfather were to have a heart attack, it is highly unlikely that a defibrillator would keep him alive. A heart attack damages the heart muscle, and a defibrillator will not help that or keep it from happening. If the heart muscle is too damaged, no amount of shocks will keep it beating, unfortunately. If you - or anyone in your family - are having doubts about what to do, then please talk to his cardiologist and find out exactly what the pacemaker is being used for and what the defibrillator is being used for; it will set your mind at ease and help you to make an informed decision that you will be able to be comfortable with.
I wish you peace through this journey.
Let him go in peace without the pacemaker potentially restarting his heart.
The cardiologist said the pacemaker has never been used by your grandfather based on their readout so I have to wonder what the big emergency was where they insisted that he needed one in the first place.
Knowledge is power, my friend. We all fear making decisions on behalf of loved ones that may be wrong and bring about their demise. We also fear making decisions that will ultimately cause them more pain and suffering in the end.
I'm sorry you're going through such a thing, I feel your pain. Please take notgoodenough's compassionate advice to heart. All we can really hope for is a peaceful passing for our loved ones when God is ready to take them home. Hospice helped both of my parents achieve that peace with their passing, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Best of luck with a difficult situation.
Then you have the logical side which is “I’m going to turn this off because he has never used it and when he dies it might cause him great pain and suffering.”
You need to take some time and space to understand that you are pre grieving and then come to whatever decisions are in HIS best interest, not yours.
Good luck.
When my dad was not doing well I asked his cardiologist what would happen if he died, would he keep getting shocked and I was informed that yes, he would get shocked until the defibrillator was turned off. I knew then that I would encourage him to have it turned off so nobody had to face that. Because it will not restart a dead heart and having him shocked would have been terrible for him and anyone that had to bear witness to that.
I would not turn off the pacemaker though. It does NOT keep someone alive, it just paces the heartbeat and keeps them comfortable.
My dad did have another heart attack and said that it felt like he had been kicked in the chest by a mule, so I would definitely encourage you to have that disconnected.
At 98 your grandad has had a long life, he is on hospice so nothing you do will change what is happening, he is dying and the less he suffers the better.
These situations are just hard and sad and scary, may The Lord give you strength, courage and guidance during this difficult time.
I hope that you have found peace, as he is at peace, too.
I will undoubtedly be faced with this same situation at an emotionally vulnerable time, and now, because you shared, I have been counseled along with you, and won’t be caught off guard.
Marie, I hope you can now sit peacefully with your decision.
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