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That may not be relevant for you, but it’s one option that may be easier. Best wishes, Margaret
They will have better ideas to bring you and her a better quality of life.
Meds can take awhile to take affect or even find the right dosage/type so they may also be able to give her something to take the edge off while the long term med takes affect.
It does get exhausting - I hear what your trying to say here - you love your mom and life would be better for both of us if we could find a balance for moments like this. It is valid - your not looking to drug your mom - you are seeking a way to make it more peaceful for you both and recognizing that is step one. Best wishes
Your Mom needs to be evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist, maybe as an in-patient in a geriatric behavioral health facility.
I understand that the stress and being so close to burnout in this difficult situation with your Mom could cause you to need anti-anxiety meds for yourself. You showed wisdom by calling your sister.
Consider that your Mom currently needs more professional care than you are able to provide. It should never be a goal of treatment to "snow" the patient under with medications by the family.
Do not take the advice of your CNA niece, who likely works in a facility where she would not be qualified to administer those meds herself to handle unruly patients.
If you are in danger as well as your Mom, remove yourself from the caretaker role altogether. Skip the joke: " I joke to myself I need to get one of those tranquilizer dart guns like they had on Wild Kingdom back in my day". This could be a sign of burnout.
You can joke once your Mom has passed.
So sorry that you are the recipient of abuse from your Mom. Protect your Mom and yourself, find other caregivers for her.
I hear you!
The constant complaining, etc. is very difficult (as per your profile). You kind of have to learn to let it go in one ear and out the other. Don't take it in and let it bring you down. Expect it. I tell my sister, expect conversation to be boring, repetitive, negative, etc. If you don't expect it to be "normal" then I find if to not be quite so difficult. Still not fun though!