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Why is your mother living with you? Apply for Medicaid for her. You and your H deserve to enjoy your retirements!
You are doing more and more for her, right? Where's it going to end?
She lives in your house. You are her caregivers and provide for her.
A nursing home, assisted living, or memory care would take all of her monthly income along with all of her assets too.
So here's the choice. Either she hands over her monthly income (you determine what she keeps) or she moves out of your home into a care facility which takes everything and then some.
She pays for nothing at YB's home where she has lived for 25 years. Well--she wanted cable and he didn't even want TV in the home, so she has to pay for that, but it's under $100 a month. Nothing else.
I have always thought she should pay at least $500 a month, as brother's family has done so much for her.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/as-a-caregivers-for-my-mom-my-husband-and-i-are-finding-ourselves-doing-more-and-more-things-should--476013.htm
There is nothing wrong with her paying her fair share.
If she doesn't like it, she can go live some place else.
I find it ridiculous that seniors don't think they should pay for room, board and care because one of their adult children has opened their home to them.