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My husband's uncle was recently diagnosed with dementia, went into the hospital for a routine procedure and was transferred to an LTC after the diagnosis. The family is in huge denial and are waiting for him to get better and come home.
Dementia ebbs and flows; some days the patient seems their old selves, other days not so much. I've tried to explain it like a child that leaves home. They may come to visit and act like their younger selves but the fact of the matter is that version is gone and you'll only see their old selves in snatches of time. Best of luck.
It would be unspeakably cruel to dismiss someone's health issues as an attention-getting tactic.
Demensia is a mind blast for all of us to handle. It makes me feel sad beyond belief. It makes me cry my heart out when she can't remember what I just said...crazy when I have to repeat myself a million times (so it seems). Now she's waking up early and opening all the doors and then goes back to bed and forgets then rips me to shreds for leaving doors open or she thinks someone else did it or that someone is in our home. Certainly this can't be faking?
I am grateful for all the people in this forum because I can be honest and not get my head ripped off for feeling helpless or angry sometimes.
I don't think it's fake and my heart hurts for you.
Hugs
My mom was completely different with me than others. She would tell me she was sick then tell others she was fine. It’s very hard to deal with what’s real. It’s like they know who they can manipulate. When a person has been like that PRIOR to dementia, it’s hard to decipher.
My brother who lives at home has memory problems due to a major fall and hit his head. It is extremely forgetful. I did have him tested but neuro found no dementia but he does have memory loss from the fall which it can progress to dementia per his neurologist. We keep a close eye on him. I know he does not fake his memory loss. What is the point to it.
My mother on occasion complained that she does not have to feed herself because others do it for her. I did leave her alone one day, but I was peaking at her in the other room. I told her not to touch the food and when I left she picked up her spoon and started feeding herself. I even said to my niece we probably do too much for her and that might not be a good thing. I do not mind doing anything for my mom, but in the long run it is best to do as much as one can for themselves, but not with a lot of difficulty.
Perhaps it's time to have her take a mental capacity test ordered by her neurologist. That will better help you understand exactly what is going on. Best wishes.
It reminded me of one of my children going limp in an attempt to postpone the end of a friend’s birthday party. Until I started to walk to the car with his loot bag at which point he scampered after me to check its contents.
My guess is that it would be hard to pick without experience with the person’s previous bad behavior. And I also suspect that acting it was actually risking his ability to pick when to do it and when not to. Acting ‘mad’ can send you down that path for real, unless you are very careful.
Bottom line it was difficult for me to tell, but deep down inside I knew something was wrong, but really could not intervene. I called APS several times and they spent maybe ten minutes with her and found nothing amiss. When she really started to decline she failed to see that anything was really wrong, even though she was in a total mess and made many bad financial decisions. My mother kept anyone with a brain in their head at bay, and drove family and friends away.
Like I said, there was a feeling in my gut that something was different. She tried hard to cover up for her decline. And she was successful for many years. I later discovered, talking to people around her (like the pharmacist, her hairdresser, and even her financial advisor) that they thought her odd behavior was “funny and cute.” Oh that infuriated me.
Even if you suspect he is “faking,” please keep a close eye on him. I had to wait until my mother was finally hospitalized for a third time and finally diagnosed with cognitive decline before I could take action. But by then her finances and life were a disaster.
Always keep a close eye on a senior. That's how you'll know.