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Only you can decide if you can deal with his broken brain behavior. It's very challenging to set and maintain boundaries with our parents, but they are a life saver.
Maybe visits can be stopped before he gets ugly, you say he's happy to see you and then it gets bad. Can you imagine yourself running in to say hi because you were close and as soon as the first word that is leading to upset, you say well as I said just stopped in to say hi, love you gotta go and leave. Don't let his words slow you down or cause you to pause. The 1st time is the most difficult, you feel rude, but I use it and it works. Sometimes I have 30 second phone calls with my mom. I can tell by her hello how it will go. I have not seen her for a couple years because I don't want to be her scratching post.
Good luck and remember you matter too.
If you can see him and talk to him if he brings it up tell him you would not do that.
**The exception being if you do have to take him to court to obtain guardianship in order to make decisions for him. Someone should have POA for health and finances and if he is not of sound mind to do that guardianship might be the only way. **
Trust me this is not the only thing he will say to upset you. This is a long and difficult road he and the family will be on. I hope you have help for him
If he is a Veteran it might be possible to get more help through the VA.