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I know your husband feels he needs to do what he is doing, but it is affecting your marriage and that is not what his father would want. There are so many good care options, where your husband can still be part of the care team. He should be touring assisted living and/or nursing homes and finding the best one available, because even if he doesn't need to move his dad now, he may have to in the future and it's best to know what is available. Some homes are dreadful, but some are wonderful and elders find safety and a social network with peers.
If his father is not living with you, perhaps in-home agency care would free him to have more time with you. He needs to look at options. Adult day care is another one. I hope you can get him to understand what this is doing to your marriage.
Carol