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Can mom record the violent verbal attacks? If he threatens her she can call 911 and have police dispatched, that might get a psych eval.
Ask if her state has a safe release plan law, if they do she can say that their home is no longer an option for him. She is unable to care for him, period. She doesn't need to explain herself, just that she can not care for him and will not be safe at home. I personally was pressured and they tried to shame and guilt me into taking my dad. Nice try but no way, I CAN NOT TAKE CARE OF HIM. I had to repeat myself daily, multiple times for over a week. Tell her to stay strong, don't buy into their manipulations and get this guy into a facility that can deal with him.
Good luck getting this all sorted out and getting mom safe.
I know of people who have separated in order to place their spouse.
If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't want to live like that for the next 20 years. What could I legally do to end it all?
Of course I don’t wish your father another 20 or more years in his personal Hell. But when an out-of-control semi-truck is bearing down on some innocent person, do you feel sorry for the truck?
I’m worried about more than your mom’s “feelings”, as I know you are. My husband is not verbally abusive, but is bedridden and I am rapidly coming to the end of my physical and mental rope. After 5 years of 24/7 care, doing everything but feeding him, my body is breaking down. Sure I feel bad for him. He does nothing but lie in bed, pee, poop (with help), watch TV and eat. I wish I had you to watch out for me!
I send hugs and prayers that your mom is able to follow the proper channels and get your SF somewhere where he can be cared for without compromising her health and well-being.
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