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Ed you never cease to amaze me. Bravo!!
To begin with, there is no such thing as safe sex, only "safer." With the advent of Viagra, Cialis, and other performance enhancement drugs men over 50 are "getting busy" more than ever.
Since the only thing you can do is reduce the risk, check out Harm Reduction Tips such as the correct use of male/female condoms, what dental dams are, and potential exposure to equal-opportunity diseases such as HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases/infections. Your local Department of Health should provide you with everything you need, including discrete, easy-to-carry Safer Sex Kits.
If he's preening and primping for a hot date, don't be afraid to ask him if he's carrying protection -- and show it to you. Sometimes the scent of a woman is enough to make a man drop his brain by the roadside, even the most careful ones.
"Sin gorrito no hay amor" (No glove, no love). Safer sex is responsible sex, and no matter the age there's no excuse for not protecting yourself and your partners.
Don't be afraid to talk WITH him about sex. After all, he's still breathing.
-- ED
This sounds like the kind of problem many of us caregivers would like to have ;-)) However, I don't agree with Nutz's statement that it is unlikely he's gonna hook up with young women. The issue here is connecting with young women who would try to hook up with him for purely financial reasons. (In the old days they were called goldbrickers, today they are the new normal) Some of these new normal women have accumulated fortunes by serially marrying older men of means and having them "change their will" to accommodate the new love in their life. A couple of years of the good life and the old man drops dead and then the family finds out that pop's entire estate now belongs to his 20-something spouse. When they attempt to take legal action, they discover that that 20-something gal had the equivalent of a Law degree and an airtight hold on the estate that it would cost the family more in legal fees to overturn the will than it would be worth. So along with the condoms you ought to supply a template for a pre-nuptial agreement that ensures any quid-pro-quo sexual activity does not involve a new beneficiary to the family fortune.
For some reason society seems to have this idea that is just not the old person thing to do, but older people do have sex and sometimes run after other folks in the assisted living and nursing home places.
I also think he could really benefit from having an older man to talk about these things with.
I seriously doubt that you will be able to take away his internet.
As far as his physical and mental state, he is pretty sharp..
I think what may have started this was when he had to go to the hospital last month for a gall bladder attack. He was in the hospital for a week with a really bad infection. It was the first time he had ever been that sick so I think it scared him a lot! He also has an enlarged prostate and a stone in his bladder the size of a walnut..
He has to go to the doctor next month for surgeries to remove his gall bladder and possibly the stone in his bladder (if they can't break it up with medicine)
Also, my Dad is a widower ( my Mom died in 1992 of cancer at the age of 50) he has not went out on many dates since her death.
Now that I have had some time to digest all of this, I think that he is going through a phase right now.
The reason he decided to discuss this with me is because I am the only family he has ( I am an only child)
He actually was scared to talk to me about it, but I think he was afraid to talk to anyone else about it as well ( I think he is a bit ashamed and/or confused about how he felt when he saw porn for the first time)
My Dad is intelligent and logical so I believe that if I discuss the risks of hooking up with younger women, he will understand.. . I will defintely keep everyone posted on this because I may need more advice LOL!!
Sorry for the long post :(
Michelle
6) Do you think he is physically still healthy enough for sexual activities? Some seniors have medical issues or meds that can prevent them from having "good" and healthy sex lives.
1) Do you think that your dad is still mentally competent?
I find it "interesting" that he would ask you - his daughter - about sexual matters. Most men of that generation feel more comfortable talking to other males about this....
2) Did he ever tell you "about the birds and the bees" when you were younger? If not, I would finds it a bit odd, that he would ask you about a sexual topic now, when he never spoke about such "things" before.
3) Do you think he is serious about the "18-25 year olds" or do you think that was just a kind of joke?
4) is he really only looking for "booty calls" or is he more looking for "a friend/companion with benefits?" If he is still mentally fit, I can't see a good reason why you should discourage the latter....
5) Do you think his internet porn consumption is mentally and/or financially unhealthy? Does he spend many hours and dollars on these sites?
Sex keeps you young, loose, and did I say young. Whether your dad is watching porn sites, or dilly-dallying around on himself you should consider yourself lucky that he is still frisky. Seventyeight is not that old really and he still has plenty of sex time left.
I agree with whomever said to find an elder matchmaking site and maybe he'll meet someone and they'll engage together. That is if someone near his own age can change his mind about the youngans. Naheaton is right about the Golddiggers cause we don't want him to find a Anna-Nicole then you will have problems.
But I tip my hat off to the Ol' G' Playa.
I hope you don't get offended.
I had a client at 91 still got a hard on when taking a shower. The first time I realized that was going on kind of shocked me too. If it was my dad, I'd probably have a heart attack. Good Luck!
I have no problem with him watching it on the internet.. I just wanted to get advice on how to deal with this hehe!
I have to assume that, given that he's surfing the web and talking about booty calls, thats he's pretty tight upstairs.
I'ts unlikely that he's gonna hook up with young women. Maybe make some condoms "appear" just for Kicks and giggles maybe be a great conversation starter at least!! just a thought,~Nutz
What happened is he recently discovered internet porn ..It has given him a "new awakening" about sex.. Basically you could compare it to a teenager who has discovered porn for the first time lol!!
I guess he is sexually overwhelmed with what he is watching on the internet and is looking for a way to relieve his sexual tension..
I was a bit rattled about this so I was looking for advice as to how to deal with his new found " awakening" Maybe there is a forum he can go to to talk to other men for advice??
Thanks!
Thanks!
Michelle