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A CNA that came in to help shower and dress him. At first it was 2 times a week but as he declined she came 3 times a week.
I got a Nurse that came to check on him weekly
I got a Social Worker that came once a month just to check to see how we were doing.
I got a Chaplain that came when I wanted him to.
I got equipment, a Sit to Stand first then a Hoyer Lift. I got a Hospital bed, wheelchair then later a Broda Chair.
I got the medications that were needed and supplies. Briefs, gloves, barrier cream, lotions and soap and swabs to help with oral care. And when it was needed I got a product that was added to thin foods to thicken them up to prevent aspiration.
And I got support emotionally.
What I did not get from Hospice was Caregivers. I had to hire those on my own. You can NOT be a 24/7 caregiver not good for you or the person you care for.
Hospice does have volunteers so if I needed to go out when I did not have a caregiver I could call and ask for a volunteer to come sit with my Husband. The will not feed or change someone so the time was limited to that restriction, about 2 to 3 hours.
I feel very strongly that I could not have done what I did without the help of Hospice.
One of the best decision I made in all the years caring for my Husband!
It does not matter where the person resides Hospice will come into a home, will go into long term care facilities as well as Memory Care and Assisted Living. Many Hospice have units in hospitals and they will have a team assigned to wherever the patient needs to be cared for.
I do hope your plan works out for you and your mother, and I hope that hamstring injury heals quickly.
And remember that the palliative care people are there to help your mother and you, so don't hesitate to have a nonthreatening conversation if something isn't being handled right.
Garden Artist described the hospice situation very well. They usually provide an aide for a couple of hours daily 3 - 5 days a week and rarely at week ends. The aide can do bathing Mom's laundry, sheets and clothes and keep her room clean and possibly provide a snack. Hospice also has trained volunteers who can sit with a patient but only for a few hours and not every day. Can you afford to hire extra care? Do you have older children who can keep an eye on Mom till you get home?
Right now you need someone to care for you but in typical nurse fashion you are struggling alone. If the memory care is close to home admit her, there really is no other choice and plan to spend as much time with her as possible and fill in what the staff are neglecting. As I am sure you know working in any kind of nursing home facility is very soul destroying and the staff turnover extremly high. if the facility is not well run the aides will find another job pretty fast.
There is another possibility, which is Palliative Care, a step up from hospice. Home care would be provided, but it depends on the specific agency. In researching this option, I've learned that some companies provide only telephone support, some provide oversight, and others, with home health care affiliations, provide more in-home care.
It can be time consuming to find one that provides the level of care needed.
Given your mother's dementia, do you anticipate that sooner or later you'll find a memory care facility for her? If so, and if there are any that are candidates (whether in your area or not), I''m wondering if you could arrange a temporary trial period while you recover. If the memory care unit thinks it might have another candidate, the care might be better.
Another alternative is to ask the hospital discharge planner to step up her efforts to find a reliable place, outside of your immediate area with facilities that aren't up to par.
I wish I had some solutions. I really don't; this is a tough situation.
If mom needs more help, you'll have to hire skilled nursing or CNA to make up the extra hours. They usually have 4 hr minimum at $20-25/hr.
If she can go to rehab and insurance covers that might be better while u both recover.
You might check with hospital and see about other options like home health aids, occupational therapy, physical therapy, etc, that insurance may cover and can help mom. Her case worker and hospital care team can review her care plan and help you arrange care and support for mom while you are not able.