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Our parents never seen to get over seeing us as kids; let a professional in a lab coat do the talking. Make sure you explain to discharge what you are and aren't willing to do.
I would never consider allowing someone who was rude and demanding live with me.
She can always say that she wouldn’t dream of going against the doctor’s orders.
I don’t think you’re missing anything, other than your feelings matter just as much as your mother’s feelings.
Your mom has been dependent upon you. You have been very generous with your time and have helped her during her time of need. She is now in need of more care than you can possibly provide on your own.
She turned down your offer to move into your home. Were you planning on hiring additional help? Your sister isn’t interested in having her move in and she doesn’t have to make the same offer as you have. Who knows why she listed your sister on paperwork?
So, she has two options, remain at home with additional help. Or enter a facility. She doesn’t have the funds to hire in home care, so the only real option is to sell her home and move into the assisted living facility.
As sad as it is, life changes and sometimes major adjustments are needed to accommodate these changes.
Move forward with telling your mom that you realize that she will miss her home. Reassure her that she will get used to living in her new surroundings. Tell her that you will be visiting her and overseeing her care if you plan on doing so.
You can then go back to being her daughter instead of her caregiver.
Best wishes to you and your mother.