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I'm going to ask you (and all others reading) the same thing I asked my 83 year old mother. Are you willing to kill yourself doing patient care? Literally? I could already my mother losing ground physically and mentally while taking care of my father. She was still 100% in the denial stage of what was being required of her to take care of his daily needs. So, I stepped in. Quit my good job and began living with them. STILL, she tried to do physical care of him that she wasn't equipped to do and just let me drive them, cook, shop, clean, pay bills, etc. He wouldn't let her get a decent nights sleep. She would crawl around on the floor trying to put his pants on, not understanding there are easier ways to do it. So after my major sacrifice of my job and life, things still weren't much better. Finally, months later I am the one tending to all his needs. I only leave the home for a few hours at a time to do errands when he is asleep. They are both sweethearts and appreciative and easy to handle. EVEN SO, life is hard and lonely and my future is now very insecure. I have no siblings to help me with them. BUT I have no young children an am divorced so I'm not being torn in every direction, either. PLEASE DO NOT DESTROY YOURSELF, YOUR MARRIAGE OR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR LITTLE ONES IN ORDER TO BE A CAREGIVER. There are other very important people and relationships in the equation. Figure out compromises or something else entirely and don't feel guilty.
Cookie
Janliz
You should look into
1.day care -if you can afford it and if your mother is able to go
2.Hospice Palliative care - this is comfort care- if your mom has an illness that will eventually be her demise -pleas do not fear hospice care this does not mean mom is dying soon and is a way to releive your self a little. They will come to your home to help .
It is well worth looking into to see if it will be helpful you can always say no if you don't like it
Petrifiednosecrets
I garden. Plant and the world plants with you...weed and you weed alone. I am good about letting my troubles go to God in the garden. Maybe MIL will stay in the house and let you be.
get help where ever you can. hope i didn't bring you down, i am glad you found this site every one shares so much in common and every one does try to help.
Dare
I do have sisters but unfortunately the farthest one is all the way across the country and the closest is a 7 hr drive from my house. I am lucky to have a few good friends although I have learned some are not that good when times get tough. It sounds like I need to establish a network of helpers and just take whatever help I can get. Thank you, just talking to someone has helped.
Jaymie
good luck
Dare