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he has gotten a lit bit worst shape , his mind is slipping , but of course leavin him there would causes that ..
cries everyday wanna come home , poor guy !!! am trying to stock up all the wood i can get , that is for our woodstove . winter is coming gotta keep dad warm ....
CNA's are low-paid employees who would rather not work.
i ask to see the lady that wheeled him in his room , all denied doing it , so somebody is liein to me . one girl said uh that person left . yeah right whatever ..
i was begin nice and ask notto close that door anymore . well i am going to yank him outta there after tues the meeting cuz i do need to talk to the dr and see whats going on and will tell them im takin dad out and explain why . i told my the nurse my dad wore the same outfit since lastnight and his teeth is so nasty dirty his hair smells bad . he is not in a good hands there as i thought it be a good place . oops wrong !!!
it is no wonder they all cry wanna go home !
like i said before one on one is better than 10 on one .
he wentthere cuz of his uruin tract infection and almost died so go to rehab to build his strength back and they did , phyiscal therpary did wonderful job , its the cna care it sucks !! i say get your mom out ofthat place and get her back home , where they call it home sweet home !
I however do understand what you are saying.
My Mother is very beligerant, mean and cruel. She does not have a nice thing to say about anyone and I mean anyone. She uses the ambulance service as her own personal taxi service to the hospital when she is wanting attention, which is quite often. She was told not too long ago that if she didn't smarten up, I was going to put her in a home. Since then, she has gotten better, and she still phones me 4-5 times a day just to gripe and complain. I have over the last year tried to distance myself from her when she attempted to break up my marriage with her lies.
My best advise to you and your sisters is to leave her alone for 30 days. It is common practice for families to stay away while the senior gets accustomed to the new environment. Your Mother is doing this to you because she can and because she knows it gets to you.
If she continues this behavior, simply tell her to have a nice day and leave. When she finally starts to understand that she can not get to you, she will change.....for the better I hope.
So...take care of yourselves and visit Mom when you can. Don't go everyday...maybe once a week. Bottom line is that you must believe in your heart that this was the best decision for her.
The "horse whisperer" Monty Roberts has a great book on how to use his techniques to get along with people, "Horse Sense for People." There is a book/website called http://www.elderrage.com with great stories and advice from someone who's been through it. The Love and Logic childhood educators often have tips I've found useful in working with Mom.
The only time I used the turn my back and walk away technique with mom was actually a little risky. A recent fall left her nauseous, and when she had these sessions, she wanted to die and wouldn't take Maalox or simethecon, which would stop the attacks in a few minutes. I should just let her die. "Ok," I said, "I'll let you die, if that's what you want. I'll come back and check on you in half an hour to see if you've changed your mind. I have something that can help. It's indigestion, not death." I came back in one minute and asked her if she wanted to take something that would make her feel better quickly, and she agreed.
This would be a great middle solution between your mother and you and your sister. Your mother would be well taken care of, in the comfort and safety of her own home.
I truly hope this works out for you, no matter what you decide.
Best,
Jackie
Your mom might be happier to see you if you maybe decided to go every other day, instead of every day. She will still be angry, no doubt, but at least she wouldn't be angry EVERY day.
I'm sure none of this will help you. But, I feel for you and all others in our situations!
If she is in the home for good, then don't just come visit like it's a prison. That's what my sister does, show up with a mylar balloon and say "Just came by to see how you're doing?" and if things aren't doing well, she freezes and says well, here's a balloon. What no teddy bear?
You Mom's been imprisoned against her will...how would you like it? Apparently she's has enough sense of self and sense of freedom to NOT appreciate that this is for her own good.
If she is in there "for good," then see if she can be taken out for long outings to your houses, church, to the beach, to a movie, restaurants, concert. "Come on Mom, let's get you out of here for the afternoon. Should we go to the lake?" Then when you arrive, you are there to liberate her instead of just check on her. You could also hire caregivers to do these things if you can't make it. If you can't take her out then bring civilization to her. My Mom would be in heaven if someone watched the more recent Andre Rieu videos with her. Over and over and over. The one in NYC is a hoot. The DVD "The Promise of Music" is edge of your seat inspiring documentary and concert about Gustavo Dudamel and Venezuela's world class youth orchestra. That's my mom's "life vein," watching great music videos.
First, the decision to put her in a nursing home is not an easy one. Did your mother fully meet the requirements of Activities of Daily Life?....Eating, bathing, Bathroom, Sleeping? Was she totally unable to do these things? I get the feeling that this decision was one of "I've had it with her ", or " I can't take it anymore". If this was the case, then be honest, and come clean with yourselves. No wonder your mother is angry. I'd be angry too, and long for my own home. My advice is to let her be. Don't visit so often if it upsets you and her. You put her there, now live with that decision. Rather than " go crazy ourselves"......why don't you just stay away?