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SoAlone, you thought of complications a lot of us would have considered. Good questions.
You people are awesome!
Carol
Typically, if you are listed on an account as titleholder, you cannot just be taken off without your permission. If you are in a will or the beneficiary of an IRA, pension, savings account, CDs or other types of financial products (POD) Payable on Death, your mother has the legal right to make those changes without your permission if she has legal capacity.
If you have any doubt about what's happened, now is the time to rectify it, not after your mother is gone. Consult an attorney, give them the facts, and see what they say you can do. There are a lot of legal and emotional issues surrounding what you're facing: it's good you're aware of what's happening, take advantage of that and act now.
If you don't know a good attorney in your area, call your state's Bar Association and ask for the Lawyer Referral Service. They might also refer you to your local Bar Association if you live in a metropolitan area.
Also, be sure your mother has a Will, a Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare Power of Attorney, Advanced Medical Directive and any other documents your attorney recommends in your state. You definitely need to call an attorney ASAP. Many referral attorneys will offer a an initial consultation at a reduced rate.
Great question and best wishes,
Jane