By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
However, you have some medical issues yourself and hubby has LBD. You will probably not be able to care for him forever. The numbers of caregivers that pass before the person they are caring for due to the stress is absolutely alarming. Somebody here will chime in on the actual numbers, I am sure. Would the transition for your husband be easier, if you passed first, if he had already been doing some things with other people? Maybe your daughter is fearful that she would become his caregiver if something happened to you; and she does not want to be forced into that role.
Perhaps your daughter wants you to see that there is another side to caregiving, one in which you don't have to be completely responsible for your husband 24 hours a day. That there are others in similar situations and it always helps to have others to do things with and talk with. Is there a senior group at church that get together through the week? If not talk with the church staff about starting a weekly lunch group.
My mom and her hubby were moved to a senior community just two weeks ago. Hubby did not want to go one little bit, I had been caring for both of them for almost four years. Mom has dementia, he general age related decline and some small issues with his memory. All agreed that they could not live in the same unit, mostly because of mom's sundowning behaviors. This transition is very difficult for my mom. The theme of he stay thus far is run for the hills, not going at all well for her. Her hubby's on the other hand is to spend the majority of his time trying to help my mom,. Who looks the worst for the wear? He does as he had not been in the primary caregiving role for four years, yet he believes he ahould be able to do everything for Mom, and the heck with what he is able to do.
So, make your own decision about your activities and realize that you may not be able to care for him until he passes. Plan for the future in a way that will make a necessary transition easier on both of you.
maybe you can't hold a regular paint brush but i bet you could manage one with a big fat handle. It could be fun.
"Daughter, please. You're beginning to spoil our time together by nagging us to do something we don't want to do. If you don't stop nagging us about the Senior Center? I'm afraid we're going to have to ground you for a whole MONTH!"
One of the things that bothers me are the choices of some of the activities planners seem to feel are appropriate for elders, such as bingo. It's not an activity that stimulates thinking - all one does is put little chips on the called numbers.
Bingo always reminds me of the activities for seniors in rehab centers as well as some get togethers.
Some of the exercises are based on the assumption that elders are physically and intellectually limited - not every one is.
Painting is excellent though, even if arthritis makes it difficult to hold a brush; abstract paintings are still intellectual pursuits and stimulate creativity.
In short, I've felt people can find their own stimulating activities - book clubs, free concerts, good tv documentaries, etc. It's unfortunate that Borders closed because it had some good interactive social events, especially some of the clubs it sponsored.
Can you still walk outside? In a small town you could socialize that way - go for a walk and see your neighbors.
But I think your daughter is just trying to be helpful, thinking that getting out will in fact be helpful rather than disinteresting.
I think the issue is whether you're satisfied being home except for Wed. and Sun., and if so, and if you have no complaints about staying home, you don't really need to seek satisfaction elsewhere.
How I wish my parents would have started going to a Senior Center years ago because now that they are in their 90's they have no friends their own age, and are bored silly being home alone rattling around in their big home. And I can't be Julie McCoy, their cruise director.
My parents use to walk 2 miles a day until they were in their late 80's and early 90's.... and they use to do volunteer work at the local hospital twice a week up until those ages, too.... it all stopped when Dad had a heart attack [he was volunteering at the hospital when it happen, so what better place] and it's been a downward slide since then. Dad had to stop driving.
Now I am a bundle of nerves because for the past 6 years I have been running all their errands, doctor appointments, barber, hair dresser, CPA, trips to Target, post office, etc. while trying to maintain my own career. MY life has come to a stand still but my parents don't even notice that. I haven't been on vacation in 6 years, I haven't been to a movie in 6 years, or dined out. Always the fear that either one will once again fall.
If they were living at a retirement community I would still be worried about them but I would be able to get a good nice sleep. If Dad falls, Mom could alert security and they know how to pick up a fallen person. And if Mom passes first, Dad would have a group of friends to rally around him, instead of rambling alone in a big house. And vise versa. But no, they won't move.
Today 40% of the caregivers pass on leaving behind their love one. I feel that my parents could outlive me, then what? I have no siblings, and I have no children. And that in itself worries me sick. I should have been hinting to my parents back when I was 53 years old instead of pushing 70 myself.
See All Answers