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This has to be an all or no one decision for everyone involved or you're gonna have - well, a major F-up. Sorry! Let's say some took dads gift and some didn't. Dad needs NH care but he doesn't have much money to last and Medicaid says "so sorry - try again in 15 months". What the heck are you suspose to do with dad?
Ask the siblings who took the money to pay it back? Yeah, right. Ask the siblings who took the money to care for dad in their home? Good luck with that. OR are the same sensible siblings who did NOT take the money gonna be stuck ponying up the money to keep dad in the NH? Maybe. Or are these same sensible sibling gonna figure out how they are going to split the duty of caring for dad in their home? I'd bet on that one. All the while, the siblings who took the money are no shows for respite care, visits with dad or even a phone call. Cause I'm pretty sure that's how they'll be cause if they really cared about dad, they wouldn't have taken the money in the first place.
Do more than opting out. Figure out a way to end this nonsense. Otherwise you can count on being sucked into the drama and heartache that sure to occur if dad follows through on handing out inheritances while he's still ticking. Know how I know? Cause you cared enough to come here and ask this question in the first place.
1. Take and bank your share, and don't touch it, and be ready to give it back if it's called on.
2. Corral your seven - Lord! - siblings into a room and don't let them out until they've agreed to join you in prevailing on your father not to be a fat-head. He should keep his money in case he needs it during his lifetime; and deal with the equal division of any remaining estate in his will.
Or... does he have any long term care insurance? Any dedicated funds for his own care?
Plan it out so that each of the 8 know exactly which months of each year they will have Dad living with them..and they will provide the care that Dad needs.
Make a contract...all sign.
Then..proceed to do with the assets your Dad needs for his care as you wish...since you all will provide that care at no cost to him when he needs it.
Now..Medicaid is not in the picture...nor a nursing home. No more worry about taking those assets that Dad will need....you will make sure he doesn't need them. Problem solved.
If your father is thinking of transferring his assets and defaulting on his contract with the NH...
I'm sorry: could you explain exactly what the plan is, here? Seriously, is your father (or his family) looking for a simple way out of paying for his care, which is what you've made it sound a lot like?
Perhaps he'd do best to consult an estate planning specialist (lawyer or accountant). I'm sure there will be a way to do this that keeps the risks to a minimum, with provisos in case of.. oh, who knows, fire, flood, global banking collapse, whatever; but his current idea seems a bit gung-ho.
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