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Carol
I am so sorry for the passing of your DAD, I am sure your Dad was grateful to be away from your Mon and got much peace and quiet in the N.H. Try not to let her get you down you did the right thing as your Dad told- it is great he did share that with you. I can understand how hard it is to have the person you are working so hard to care for say such mean things to you after a while you feel they are right and it hurts. Many times when my husband was in Rehab until recently the staff was so use to seeing me cry-some of the bolder ones would get upset with him- once a doc yelled at him to not talk to his wife like that. You know you did the right thing and she knows it also but it makes it easier for her to blame you, she wants to hurt you. A friend at church told me people can be mean to those that they depend on the most. You will get a lot of help on this site-there are so many warm caring people here and will be happy to support you-hang in there we all know how it feels to be overwhelmed and at the end of your rope-do we ever!
How is it that it seems our dad's were the caring ones and our mothers are the ones that drive me crazy. My mother is also negative, mean and has nothing ever good to say.
I have been caring for my mother and father 20 years. My dad has had 3 strokes and mom is just a nervous freaking wreck and can't do anything without my help. I am having a complete nervous breakdown after losing my home in Katrina and now having to take my parents in to live with me. I have woke to sickness everyday of my life for 21 years now and cannot literally stand it.
This is a great place to vent, but nothing is helping me. I would rather be caring for my dad by himself than my mom with no illness.
Marylynne
Had a physical, occupational and nurse come out today to try to get some home health to take something off of me. After them coming in, I realized all they want to do is to help me give me tips on getting him in the shower again, and getting him in the car again to go to the dr. or get his coumadin levels taken. I wanted some relief. I wanted someone to possibly come in and shower him twice a week and the nurse to keep coming home to take his coumadin so I wouldn't have to do that too.
I wake up so depressed and have lost so much weight that I find it hard to continue on, but do. I have two brothers that won't even take them for a few days, so I could vacation with my family. Have just moved into a house that I added a 1200 sq. ft. addition onto for them to have separate, but together, living quarters. Thought that would help me to not have to listen to the everyday complaints, but it has not changed anything.
My mom, even when we were living in separate houses, was always sick from her nerves and I would have to leave my husband and children to go sleep by her house many of nights, just because she was frightened. She don't seem to remember the way I remember it and there is no telling her any different. She is mean and selfish and I do love her, because she was a good mother. I just can't remember it any more.
It is a shame that it comes to that I have so much hatred for my parents after this long. I think and am afraid that I will die before them and never have had chance to have a real life. My dad took ill when I was pregnant and 25. My oldest daughter is 21 and I am 46, half of my life is gone. I think I am having a mid life crisis and just don't know how to face another day.
Thanks for listening.
Marylynne
Rose
I am so glad you have made a decision to get out of that situation and get a place of your own, just making a big decision on your own will probably help you become stronger. Let your brother cope with your mother, it is possible she will be nicer to him then she is to you-my husband took all his venmon out on me and was so nice to most other people-I had been told so often what a nice person he was. You are great for this site-you have been through so much-more than a person should have-you will be so helpful to others who have problems that are too much to deal with-bless you.
I hope you stay on this site and help those who are going through such hardships-I too could have used this site for the past few-really many years but now that I learned to be stronger after a lot of conseling and meds I feel maybe I can help others who can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I still need the support of others friends can help but if they do not have your life it is hard for them to understand-please stay with us-we need yoy
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