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Having dementia does not prevent one from signing some legal documents. What is really critical is whether they could understand them at the time they signed them. It might be very difficult to reconstruct her cognitive state two years ago.
Do you think that your brother's actions were not in your mother's best interests? Or not in your interests? How do you think the POA document is not what your mother would have wanted, if she had understood it? Discuss this with a lawyer.
If Mother is competent to sign such a document now (which is a different issue than whether she was in 2012) AND if mother wishes to change the POA she can do that fairly easily. If she is no longer competent now but was in 2012, then I think the only way to get a change is through the courts. And that might involve guardianship.
A lawyer can explain all the options to you, and then you can decide whether you wish to proceed.
Have you had a frank, calm discussion with your brother about this issue?
Has mother ever had a doctor state that she is incompetent to make decisions in her own behalf?
In many situations, adult children do not appreciate what other options are available for end of life care. They think the choices are between doing nothing and going all out (ICU, life support, etc.). Hospice, however, is a fantastic alternative that will make sure your father is comfortable and treated with dignity and respect.
You can challenge the POA (is this a durable power of attorney for health care and does it include a durable power of attorney for finances, as well) by use of an attorney IF there was a written diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease or other dementia prior to the appointment of the POA. Either way, call your local area agency on aging and ask to speak to their elderlaw attorney. They can usually set you up with a free telephone consult. Make sure that ANY attorney you consult has a specialty in elder law.
You may want to consider having the social worker, an outside geriatric care manager or a family mediator sit down with your family and discuss the alternatives.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I pray for the best for your father.
Shelley
Most families go through this conflict because there are different personalities & if everyone could get along and agree on things, Lawyers for the most part wouldn't be needed. With that said, explain to your sister your concerns and try to reach an agreement in a peaceful way. The bottom line is your parents well being and "thier" wishes are priority. Forget about who does what and who dosen't. If this dosen't work or is an impossability, I would say you leave me no choice it is going to cost a fortune to fight it out but be prepared for your bank account to be emptied over this matter. My sisters first concern is her $$$, it took me a while to figure out how to get my sister to agree, but she listens up when I mention $$$$...you do it my way or you'll pay $$$. She agrees every time. She was mad because I spent down Mom's money got her on medicaid and Mom set until the end (and sis found a problem with this). Sis realized no left overs for her. I said OK I'll tell medicaid you'll pay $$10,000 a month out of your own pocket for NH or I'll take Mom out of NH and bring her to your house and you figure out a better way to care for her for 24/7 for years to come. Well she never said another word about it to me. This is what I ment about personalities you've got to figure out what motivates a person, loss of freedom, money, whatever gets them to wake up and get the real picture and who's lives and wishes are the priority. Fighting and disagreeing usually makes someone else alot of money and drains everyones bank accounts and energy. Oh and some people are better readers than listeners so a letter goes much further than a phone call sometimes.
You are a family... try to use what your parents gave you life and individuality for, as motive to help them.
I had some problems here with my mother and siblings. I talked to her drs and talked to an attorney. I felt that persuing the matter and risk losing mom to an court appointed guardian all because us kids was fighting with each other wouldn't be fair to our mother.
The best thing is to prove that your sister is not doing her duties of POA. Not helping out has really no grounds. But proof that she is financially using his money for herself, things along them lines. That will get POA overturned. Again, you will go to court.
But if in fact your sister is doing her POA duties, and this is about life support issues than she has the say so unless there was a living will.
Again, talk to an attorney ASAP. These things don't change overnight. So the sooner you seek legal advice the better.
As coach said" he (your father) is of primary concern and should be properly cared for".
Be prepared for this to get nasty should you proceed. Before you do anything try talking to your sister in a civil manner. Express your wish to be the POA as you are the primary caregiver and express your father's wish not to be kept alive by artificial means. Whatever happens between you and your sibling, make sure your father is properly cared for. He is of primary concern as he can no long express his needs and desires. Good Luck.