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Your Mom could have fallen anywhere, including your home. And whether that is even true or not, this trip let you know that there is a life for you to live, and that you should be living it.
Your mom, tough as this sounds, has had her life. You love her and are still participating in her care, but you DO have a life to live and should be living it.
I hope your post helps others.
Thanks for posting this. I'm hoping it will help convince some of these die-hard miserable "I'm going to keep mom (husband, father, son, grandma, grandpa, dog) home with me forever even if it kills me" martyrs who won't give up. One can at least hope. (Sigh.)
Congratulations. I mean it.
I did not plan on Mom living with me the 20 months she did. Her decline was monthly. (waiting for sale of the house) I wanted to go to my nieces wedding, at a resort, without taking my Mom. It was 8 hrs away for one thing. My Moms Dementia had progressed to the last stages and she was incontinent. So I went to the AL up the street to see if I could get respite care. While there it was explained if I placed Mom by the end of the month, her rent would be 50% off and that would stand for her stay there. That meant she had money for a year and if the house sold, even longer. I placed her. By the time of the wedding, Mom had been there for two months, had acclimated and good with the staff. This made me feel comfortable and I so enjoyed my weekend away.
Stuff happens regardless of where your loved one lives. It's a shame that you had to suffer for five years until you finally got some freedom and your mom received the care she really did need, but congratulations for making that big decision to take time for you at last!
Kuddos to you for getting your mom in a home. I can't get my aunt to go, even though that's where she needs to be.
It's hard for the elderly to understand that when they reach a certain point, they need round the clock care, and it's sometimes often difficult for family members to provide it.
Anyway, I hope your mom gets better.
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