By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
And even though I skimmed through the responses twice, I didn't see any mention of your mother having dementia, although I could have missed it. Is that an issue?
Trusts can be useful, but sometimes they can be cumbersome, especially the tax issues.
Yes, the step-up issue is the reason I can't sell the house until Mom passes. This was one issue that both attorneys actually agreed upon.
You are correct, my mom does not have dementia. She has had psychotic depression for which she has been in mental wards before, but this is well managed now with medication. The reason she needs SNF is because of her physical condition. In short, she can't toilet herself, lift her arms or walk.
I agree with you, I think trusts are great if you do the painstaking work of finding an attorney who does them well and communicate with the trustee and intended beneficiaries before the fact.
When Dad died what DID you do with the money. How IS the money distributed. I think that is what will matter most now. But you are correct. Two legal opinions. I would be the last one to want to be the judge to say one is right and one is wrong.
When I gathered everything for Medicaid, it was my understanding that I had to report all accounts that had my dad's and mom's names on it, whether specifically joint or not. It never occurred to me to not report this account. Even if I wanted to not report this account, since Medicaid looks at five years of tax returns too, this would have shown up on them because it was a savings account that earned interest. It ain't no hiding anything!
I had never even thought about it until it came up in conversation inadvertently about six months later with the second attorney. Honestly of course it would have been nice to keep it but I had followed the advice of the first attorney.
Trust-mill attorney! That's the first time I have heard that term, and my parents had one too! The kind that sticks flyers in doors and hosts free "seminars" at the local diner. They put their house in a trust twelve years ago but no cash. They thought they were doing their kids such a huge favor with the house is in the trust but it is the albatross of my life. I can't sell it until my mom passes without incurring an onerous tax bill, but I can't rent it out because it's in terrible shape. So I have been sinking money into it trying to get it somewhat decent enough to rent out. I have had to remove mold, install new toilets, fridges and stoves and it still needs various repairs. I have one sibling who is an absolute saint but two others who are downright nasty and I deeply resent having to deal with the nasty ones just because my parents were naive and thought everyone would get along even after I repeatedly asked them to reconsider that. It's been awful and I expect it to get worse after my mom passes.
I suffer from depression and anxiety, and this kind of thing is a real drain on my mental health. I hide this from my mom as best I can, and I understand she's not going to disinherit any of her children but it still makes me angry. Medicaid applications are a stressful enough process but I could have also used that joint account money to protect myself from these two jerk offs, one of whom has already tried to threaten me with big-man-on-campus attorney letters.
It makes me glad to hear that your dad did well in memory care. I hope my mom (she's 86) lives 20 more years at least. As stressful as this crap is and as angry as it makes me, my mom is much beloved and I want her around.
Both of these attorneys bill themselves as experts in Medicaid/estate planning/elder law and have been in practice for so many years but I find that there are so many grey areas with these things and sometimes I feel like everyone just figures it out as they go. I considered trying a third attorney but I'm just so weary of this all.
There have been so many complications with my mom and dad's planning. They thought they were helping us, but all it has done is cause a lot of stress.
The only good thing is that my mom is doing phenomenal in the SNF.