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Dad is most likely from the era era when men were the breadwinners and women were homemakers. If that’s the case, you will never be able to “unsexist” him. I’ve had no luck with my husband.
Its nice that your dad wants dh to rest on the weekends, but he is not in charge of scheduling who does what and when. I’ve said this before, but when parents live with their adult children, it’s a privilege and not a right. If you want to dance naked in the moonlight in your your back yard, you do not have to get permission from or give reasons or rationalizations to your father. You aren’t 5 years old. Just do it.
My mom was a master of what I called the Sniper Snark. She’d make a nasty remark and then say no more, just sit back and wait for it to hit her mark. I got to the point I’d just give her a blank look and walk away. Really p***ed her off!
Good for you for realizing you needed to change things. And kudos to dh for helping out.
but that you are just getting away from laundry, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, yard work.
tell him you miss your friends and need girlfriend time.
I don't know how you stay strong, other than just ignoring his comments. and just believe in yourself that you ARE doing the right thing by giving yourself a 'vacation' with some YOU TIME.
just give him and big ol smile and say dad, ill be back real soon, cant wait to see you then!
Your dad grew up in a very different era. Women did houdekeeping, caring for kids and ekders. And very little else. If they wanted "more" they were sent to psychiatrists and medicated.
Your dad doesn't understand that you are not fulfilled by your caregiving role. I can't think of any way to help him understand except to say " we live in a different world now dad. Women have fuller lives. I don't need to escape you. But I need to get out and be with my friends sometimes and you need to accept that DH and I are partners in caring for you".