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Unlike Hubby's mom, we are very open with the kids.
I think that was the hardest ... yet best thing we ever did for our kids!
MIL will have a public guardian who will look out for her interests. You can visit from time to time, but please don't wear yourself out. She made her choices.
It seems that MIL will have to move into an assisted facility or nursing home. The problem will be how to get her there. Since you said that she fights you every step of the way I wouldn't count on her to be amenable to this solution. You can discuss it with her, hope that she sees the logic in it, but don't count on that. You may be in a situation where you'll have to wait until she has a fall or an illness and needs to go to the ER. Once in the ER you can summon a social worker and get the ball rolling for MIL to move into another place. If she won't go looking at places with you, go alone. Pick out something you think she'd like. But when the time comes, be ready with a destination for MIL.
While you didn't say, I'm assuming that you go over to MIL's on a regular basis to take care of things for her. You don't have to do that. Your energies are better spent caring for your husband. If MIL needs that much help she can hire caregivers. Offer to help her. But continue to cut back the time you spend assisting her.
Get in touch with the attorney who handled the guardianship. Find out what you and your husband have to do to have it revoked. Is there someone else willing to be MIL's guardian? Another sibling? But not you!
The county has some money allocated for this program,...so far we are trying to set things up.
MIL has stated that she will never move until she is dead. Ohhhkay.
I have had to cut back on time with MIL as I also run our farm and it is spring time.
I have set up an appointment to go back to the attorney who did handle the original paperwork. She will file guardianship papers for us through a third party.
MIL 'knows' there is nothing wrong with her and that she is just fine 'thank you so much!'
SIL sent us a letter of resignation and my husband will have to resign also.
MIL has requested to have a 'competency' test.
She has great days and terrible days, just like my husband.
My husband is a veteran with disabilities along with COPD, post cancer, and post stroke. His VA doctors feel he has lost a bit of capacity for cognitive thinking. This is the reason I cannot manage his mother and him at the same time.
I hate to say it, but MIL may have to come under that 3rd party Guardianship.
I am not looking forward to that conversation.
When I was attending my DH and my Dad, i moved Dad onto the property. Even 3 miles away was putting a strain on me. Back then, my DH was in good condition so it was easier to help my father.
You are only one person and we just don't stretch that far.
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