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Does Mom have some monthly income ... Social Security, a pension, anything? Could she pay you out of that to enable you to put off finding a job a little longer? Two small children and a dying mother are enough to occupy you right now.
She is on Medicare and also has full insurance benefits from AETNA, so I'm not paying for any of her expenses.
I guess what she is on is hospice, but they said they would only come once a week, until she starts declining. So perhaps she isn't as bad off as I think, or else they would have noticed (?). It would be great if the nurses would come more often, but even better if someone could just come and be here during the day to kind of "babysit" her. She has been accepting visitors (family and friends), but she gets very tired, so she doesn't really want anyone to come. I guess I'm just going a little stir crazy.
If she's on Medicaid, ask her case manager for a new needs assessment. If not, ask her clinic how to arrange this. Then arrange for in-home care for her based on the assessment. Medicaid typically won't provide 24/7 coverage, because at that point going to a nursing home is often more cost-effective. But they approved an aide 32 hours a week for my husband, for example. If you had someone else to stay with her that would give you some flexibility to go to work. Or (again, if she is on Medicaid) you may be able to get paid for providing care. This would probably not be enough for you to live on but it might be a reasonable short-term option.
She is on palliative care already. Might this be time to switch to the specialized palliative care called Hospice? The hospice nurses are very experienced with these situations and could help you assess when Mom is nearing the end.
Warm hugs to you, JennPeddy. You are in an extremely difficult situation. Do your best, and that has to be enough.