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Mom was quite stylish. In her 90’s she would tell her hair stylist not to give her a typical ‘old lady’ haircut. LOL 😆
Many women see their hair as their crowning glory, especially if they are vain like my mother was.
We have all had experiences with horrible hair stylists. I am extremely loyal to people who provide great service, but I don’t hesitate to switch to someone else if someone isn’t up to par or has a crappy attitude.
Good for the OP who found a new caregiver that will do right by her mother. If we look our best, it makes a difference in how we feel.
Just saw your response to JoAnn. I am happy to hear that you have a new caregiver who listens to you.
If she ignored you about a small thing like how to style her hair, what other instructions would she have ignored.
There’s no need to deal with anyone who doesn’t respect your wishes, whether it’s hair or anything else that you have instructed her to do.
But for me - hairstyling would be so incredibly far down on my list of priorities.
As long as my MIL was safe, happy, clean, dressed, fed, given her medications, etc., how someone styled her hair would be unimportant to me. Especially if she AND my husband had no issues with it.
Sometimes you have to pick your battles. And "hair hill" isn't the one I'm willing to die on.
We have found another caregiver who is great and actually listens. Thank the Lord!!
Good luck communicating with her. If you aren’t comfortable with her, look for someone else who will respect how you feel.
Is there any way you could show the caregiver what you would like for your MILs hair to look like?
Best thing might be to get another caregiver.
Good luck.
Long hair is easier to cut, and not difficult to pin back. My husband cuts mine. I hold the hair in the place that a ponytail rubber band would be, and he just cuts a couple of inches off the end. It takes two minutes, and is still the correct length to be twisted up. I haven't spent a penny on it for over 20 years. In the mirror, it looks surprisingly like my old 'Mia Farrow' short cut, a good balance for my very square jaw.
Simply discuss it I would think. You are here discussing it with a bunch of strangers who have no power in this matter. I sure do wish you the best of luck.
Tell the caregiver how you want mom's hair done. Now if mom is telling the caregiver that she wants a pony tail or pig tails that is another thing.
Is it possible that pig tails or a pony tail makes it easier for the caregiver? If mom gets food in her hair, or chews on her hair, or pulls her hair then maybe a style that keeps the hair away from her face is appropriate.
If mom's hair is long it just might be easier to have a cute short style that is easy to wash, dry, style. (when I was working full time then later caring for my Husband and had no time to do anything with my hair I had it real short..think Jamie Lee Curtis short...I have to tell you that was easy to manage.)
My mom's caregivers dressed her (comfortably) every day as she would have dressed when she went out. They put her pearls on her, and earrings that she liked. When they had time, they gave her a manicure with pretty polish. Our main caregiver had no experience with styling hair like my mom's, but she experimented with cutting it and curling it around her face. They had fun with this!
2) Tell caregiver what to do.
If caregiver is doing pigtails and pony tails, clearly M has long hair. So do I. I ‘put my hair up’ with a twist and then a large sliding clip to keep the twist next to the top back of my head. The only problem is that it’s not comfortable to lie on. I take the clip out when I lie down, and re-clip it when I get up.