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Or I may be way off base. For all I know you had a bad marriage and now you are stuck with caring for someone you were planning to divorce. You've still lost the life you were planning for yourself and that is still sad.
Or maybe this is caregiver burnout and the depression that often accompanies that.
Whatever the explanation is I think you would do well to see a specialist for medical treatment and also a therapist for counselling. You deserve it! Would you be comfortable with the doctor who is treating your husband? Get your own doctor if that would feel better. You are in a very hard situation. You deserve all the help you can get.
Please come back and tell us how you are doing and what steps you are taking to take care of yourself.
If you are like me, the more you try to suppress feelings, the more intense they become. I remember watching ET The Extraterrestrial many years ago. I was trying to be stoic and not show any emotions. Well, at the end of the movie, I broke down in tears far more emotional than the movie called for. I know it was because I was trying not to show emotions, and I was so afraid of showing emotions, that when they came out they were way out of proportion.
The same thing happens when I talk sometimes. I can be saying something that is not so emotional, but then I have to stop because for some reason tears well up in the deepest part of me. Never have figured that one out.
So you are not alone in feeling the tears coming when you talk about your husband. Is his depression getting better? The nice thing about typing about it is that you can cry and we will never know. :')