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Placing spouse must be one of the hardest things we have to do in life.
I cannot even imagine if time comes.
No advice, just sympathy as it is hard choice.
You aren’t young, even though you may be in good health. That would concern me if I were one of your children.
Wishing you and your family all the best.
I'd vote for Memory Care for him, since all of you, including him, probably need a break. And although he's not mean or argumentative, he will get worse in some way (incontinence, becoming bedridden, or something). Then what? It would be better if that happened when he's already in care.
Is it too much a burden, or would you be more unhappy with him in care?
Sometimes, even very changed, our loved one means a lot of comfort and company for us.
So I think it is important to examine what you might be doing differently were he gone.
Would you still enjoy your days? Are there friends you would like to visit with, lunches to go to, books to read uninterrupted, fewer meals and cleanups, pets perhaps and dog walks, knitting club, church activities?
Or are you more or less content with the routines of your days.
I myself, were I so uncertain as to ask a Forum of strangers, might consider instead keeping a diary daily for a period of one to three months. Then examine my days and see which were "good" and which were "NOT good" on a scale of one to ten. I might lookat what I wished I could do on a particular day that I was unable, or what I enjoyed about being with hubby, feeding the birds, doing whatever.
I sure wish you good luck. This is a tough decision.
I think the kids are afraid for you, and afraid what will happen if they get the call that you yourself have taken a bad fall, had to go to hospital. They are anything but disinterested parties to this decision.
I think you should listen now TO YOUR OWN VOICE in order to come to some conclusions. And most of all, I hope you will update us here about your choice and about what made the difference in the choice. It could be invaluable to others.
My very best out to you and your dear husband.
Free yourself up to enjoy what time you have left, you can visit him as needed.
Take care of you.
Best of luck!