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my mother had a mass on one of her kidneys and being kinda wacked anyway ( dementia ) she refused further investigation or treatment. in reading up on the subject i found that whatever moms motives were she was absolutely right. there is no effective treatment for an 82 year old person with kidney cancer. the surgery alone would probably kill them from cardiac arrest , the remaining kidney would overwork and fail, and / or the patient would develope pneumonia from the weeks lying in bed recooperating. many cancer treatments are recommended against nowdays, prostate being one of them -- simply because the treatments do not in any way enhance the quality or duration of life. its not a death panel mentality now, its more of an ignorance and bad medicine thing in the past. i wish your dad the best qol possible and i wish understanding and acceptance on your part.
i do know a man who recently bought himself 3 more years by undergoing lung cancer treatment but i well remember him being one sick puppy for 3 years too.
ive done 3 different hepc chemo treatments in the past and i can attest to the agony those meds can cause. i looked like a dead man walking by the end of the treatments and the body aches felt like someone was pulling the marrow from my bones with a claw hammer.
And if you aren't comfortable with the answers the doctor is giving, there is nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.
I hope for the best for your Dad.
I'm so sorry. Your father's courage is outstanding. Your desperation I pity with all my heart. Please seek counsel from whatever minister or advisor you trust best.