By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You have two ill people, one failing mentally and doing more than he can/should and the other failing mentally and therefore without a voice.
I believe, if your father will not listen, it may be time to call in intervention with APS so they can assess the situation. If father is competent and they find no extreme danger or deficits in the care, you will not be able, nor will THEY to intervene.
However, you do know that the call from a hospital will come, as one came to me.
You will then have to be ready to call in social workers as soon as you can.
Sorry this is happening.
Does your Mom have a PoA? If so this person needs to take action on her behalf now. It may mean she goes into facility care by herself until you can assess if your Dad can live alone (probably not). He will hopefully follow her more willingly.
The dad is in denial and needs to be medically evaluated, too.
When I mentioned moving to a lovely senior community, Mom refused, Dad said he could be packed by sundown. When I mentioned having caregivers come in to help, Mom refused, Dad was ready to hold the front door open for them.
I had to wait until there was a major medical emergency before anything like moving or caregivers could be used. Then and only then could I use my Power of Attorney. Mom, due to a major fall, had to be placed in a skilled nursing home. Dad was happy to have around the clock caregivers. I would have loved to have had both parents together, but medically it was too much of a challenge. Thank goodness they saved for a rainy day, as it was now pouring!!
It would be like living in a hotel. An easier life with less responsibilities and work. Meals prepared, snacks available, and activities. They can participate or not.
Emphasize they would both be safe, fed and taken care of. You would come visit often, and not have to do more work besides your own household chores.
Remind him that he is not trained, or a medical professional, and neither are you. You could mention the longer he stalls, the price may go up?
If he doesn't listen, you will have to be blunt and tell him you simply CANNOT be at their house every day, all day. You have your own responsibilities. What if you get sick or have an accident, then what will they do?? Insist he give you an answer!
Otherwise get a letter to their doctors, to have them help with this.
Good Luck!
I don’t know how you could speed things up as far as placement goes. Maybe if you were to show him how he could relax if they were placed in an assisted living facility.
Would he be willing to take a tour of a few of them? Most will invite prospective residents to have lunch and get a feel for what it’s like to live there permanently.
A doctor long ago told me to do this about a loved one, and it worked.
Also, visit some places and have them in mind when the time comes to make the decision. It can happen really fast.
Also, I think your dad has more than mobility issues. If he doesn't see her needs, he's possibly lost some executive function. Dementia patients are reluctant to let anyone see how they really are. They can fake it - for a while.
They can also help with nutrition they can send ensure if someone isnt eating.Now is the right time to make those decisions.They will resist at first but may accept it in time.In the future there will be piece of mind for you as hospice wil help you when placement is necessary.
See All Answers