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Were you able to see the full supermoon the last three nights?
If you go outside tonight, it may still be super! Close to the earth, awesome, bigger than us and comparing our lives to nature can lift us up.
The moon appears calm...but close-up it may not be so....kind of like our problems close-up. If we step away, talk to someone....how are you feeling today?
What does his doctor and your doctor think of how things are going and how you are having so much distress? Do you think your level of mental distress would be less if you didn't have so many demands for your husband's around the clock care?
Are there any other options that might lighten your load and still provide your husband excellent care?
And take each moment and each task and difficulty and each meal and everything else, one moment at a time. Give it your full attention.
Go outside for a few minutes and take deep breaths...it changes reality and renews you.
Before going on scripts, try your local health food store and ask for natural ways....a half hour walk does wonders, in a big park even better....if you can't leave the house, start a yoga practice from Babaji's Kriya Yoga (it's gentle and effective)....start a journal, be brutally honest and make sure to keep it in a safe place....processing change takes time.....all the best to you!
And I also do talk therapy with a woman who is around my age who had to deal with an aging Mom a few years ago, so she really does understand :)
Knowing the difference between wants and needs, between something being essential and "would be nice", takes practice. Learning to say "no" and "not right now" will help you to manage expectations, both yours and those of others.
And ask questions of people who are demanding too much of you. Many people, including health care workers, will have unrealistic expectations of you. Push back and be frank about what you can and cannot do, what your limitations are, and what the reality of your situation is.
Finally, Xanax can take the edge of when things really do all bubble over.
Does all this sound realistic/doable? You have friends on this forum. We are pulling for you!
Go to your psychiatrist and ask for your dosages to be reviewed. You are under a lot of stress, Barbara. You deserve good medical care.
Have you had a chance to finally see your primary doctor and try to gets some type of prescription to help take the edge off? It will make a big difference in how you feel, really.