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Plan for the long haul, no doubt. You just never know.
My mother has vascular dementia for sure and possibly combo-ed with Alzheimers. Came on about 8.5 years ago and the last 4 she’s needed increasing care. She’s had strokes and seizures but keeps on going, including sailing past guesses that she has less than a few months left. I don’t know if she could have a final seizure tonight, or will live another 10 years.
For this reason I suggest planning for the long haul just in case….it’s really out of our hands.
Truly wishing you the best!!
We can read and plan all we want but bottom line is no two people are alike, my advice is to have a plan for the worst case scenario and then take each day as it comes. It may help if you establish a firm boundary on what you are and are not willing to do so it will be clear in your own mind when you have reached your limits.
I was blessed to be able to keep him at home the entire time, even though it was quite difficult at times and even after he became completely bedridden for the last 22 months of his life and was under hospice care.
And because I was able to keep him at home, and because he went fairly quickly, I didn't have to worry about any trusts or Medicaid or the like.
So because vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias, with a life expectancy of just 5 years, I would say to get your legal ducks in a row now(and that will look different for everyone)and just enjoy whatever time you may have left with your husband.
There is no way to predict this.
You are going to need Medicaid as this isn't doable or affordable in the home.
So you need to keep meticulous records now.
I would consult an elder law attorney about possible division of finances as this could eat into money you will need for your own future.
Buy and hour of time with an elder law attorney. Take with you what you know of all your finances, amounts and where they are (for instance "this in housing", "this in accounts, " this in CDs, in stocks and etc.
You need careful guidance now in so far as possible, but these things are unpredictable. He could have a massive stroke and death tomorrow or he could go on many years past 5, and you will NOT be doing home care during that.
I am so very sorry about this dire diagnosis. Go online and learn all you are able. Enlist all the help you can find.
My elder law attorney recommended placing assets into Medicaid compliant Trusts, but if there is less than a 5 year life expectancy and a 5 year look back, Trust’s don’t seem appropriate. Then again…. I just might be the one who has the stroke !!