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I’m convinced that dementia is a breakdown anywhere in the brain, not a definable or patterned loss of abilities, or an “all or nothing” scenario. I look at it as including a breakdown of judgement, such that any action is acceptable in her mind if it achieves the outcome she desires. More helplessness = more of my time = good. Too much helplessness = hired help = bad. Although I don’t think it is reasoned through as such. More of a random mix of anger and an inability to articulate as she unconsciously tries to find that sweet spot.
My mother was assessed quickly in the ER by psych staff and weeks later during a full assessment as having advanced dementia. Thinks her parents are alive, has no idea where she lives, thinks I was pregnant with my 17 year old until 2 months ago, cannot consistently ID her 3 grandkids, IDs me and my husband 99% of the time, doesn’t know the days of the week, and thinks people slip in through the cracks around her windows, has no concept of safe food handling (cooked and baked a great deal pre-dementia), cannot compare or contrast the $ value between a diamond ring and a broken pair of scissors, just to name a few things.
What Brandee said surprises me. One reason my Mom was released from rehab is that she couldn't remember the exercises from day to day or understand what the therapist wanted from her.
Dementia is unpredictable. Each day is a different day. No rhyme or reason. What facility is she in that they expect residents to do there own laundry? Moms laundry was in the price of her room.
Mom--late stage alzheimers had one caregiver who worked with her on range of motion exercises. Mom memorized the pattern of the range of motion exercises. I was really impressed.